Highlights

Xmas is over! Hallelujah! I have to say that this Xmas was pretty blah. I think I'm over the whole Baby Jesus, Santa's Birthday, greedy little children game. We really scaled back on the gifts this year. Sure, we got a few things for each other, but nothing like in years past. In fact, I asked the relatives not to buy me anything and to donate any money that they were thinking of spending on me to a few of my favorite charities instead. I guess I'm just getting older, and the magic of Christmas is wearing off.

I probably can't even hear that bell jingling anymore...

It wasn't totally horrible though. There were some highlights from this past Xmas season. The best gift that I received this year was actually the sentiment contained in the greeting card that Mumi gave to me this year. Here is what it said:

For My Husband

It may seem like
one little love story
in a great big world,
but it's ours.

And we're in it together,
side by side
for always.

That's what matters most to me.

Isn't that sweet?

Here are some more photographic highlights from the holidaze.

It wouldn't be Xmas if there wasn't at least one G.I. Mo present!


Max still loves Xmas. He loves unwrapping gifts. He loves it so much, in fact, that he tried to unwrap his presents while Mumi was wrapping them up!


My nephew decided that it was his responsibility to taste each and every treat at the dessert table. At least he used a fork, right?


Quite possibly the gayest Xmas present ever.


This is the pole that I ran into while delivering stuff for our employee Xmas party. I was driving a big box truck at the time. I had never driven a big box truck before. Next time, I'll remember to make wider turns.


Bread bowls are the reason for the season!


Do not look directly into her eyes. She can be very dangerous. This doll gives me the creeps!


My nephew loves his new truck.


He just wasn't so good at driving it. He rammed it right into a tree! He must have taken driving lessons from his Uncle Jay. Don't worry though. This accident looks pretty bad, but no one was injured, including the truck.


This is a cheeseburger. It has nothing to do with Xmas. It just looks so good.
Mmmmm... burger...

Almost Safe For Work

Taming Mumi Productions
In Association With
Almost Safe For Work Pictures
Presents...
The G.I.Mo's Adventure Team In An All New Epic Adventure...
"The Dreaded Curse Of The Envious Dr. Moss"



Our story begins with our beloved G.I. Mo’s all hanging out in the barracks at the G.I. Mo Headquarters. It’s just a few days before the Christmas, and the guys are clowning around and having a good time. Buzz Cut has just gotten a new Christmas jock strap and has put it on and is modeling it for the rest of the Mo’s.

Mo #2: Yeah Dude! Looks hot!

Mo #1: Woo Hoo! Who’s your daddy?

Sgt. Grunt: Yeah Buddy! I’m gonna ride that thing hard tonight. You know I am.

Mo #3: Let’s stick one of those giant candy canes up his ass.

Mo #4: Yeah! Then we can take turns sucking on it.

Unbeknownst to the G.I. Mo’s, they were all being watched on a secret spy camera by the always envious Dr. Moss who was, as usual, up to no good.

Dr. Moss: I hate those G.I. Mo’s with their fuzzy beards. They think that they are so cool. They are always having so much fun, and they are always having so much sex. It should be me having all that fun and all that sex. But, NO! I’m always excluded from their wild sex parties and extra fun adventures. I even messaged one of them on Manhunt a while back. He said hello to me but then ignored me and didn’t message me back again. I guess he figures that he’s just too good looking to talk to me. Well, I’ve had enough. I’m going to go down there to that G.I. Mo headquarters and teach them all a lesson.



About a half hour later, at the G.I. Mo headquarters, Buzz Cut’s exotic Santa thong dance for the guys was rudely interrupted by the envious Dr. Moss.

Dr. Moss: You G.I. Mo’s have rejected me for the last time. Now you will face my vengeance.

Mo #3: Who let this guy in?

Mo #2: I don’t know. He seems hostile though. Should we take him down?

Mo #1: No. Just stay alert.

Sgt. Grunt: Look dude, I don’t know who the fuck you are, but my buddy here was giving us a nice little show before you walked in and fucked it up. I would ask you to stick around but...

Dr. Moss: I wouldn’t stand around and watch this slutty piece of ass shake it even if you paid me to.

All The Mo’s: Ooooooohhhhhhhh! No he did-ent!

Mo #1: The Gruntman doesn’t like it when guys talk trash about his boy. You better apologize dude.

Dr. Moss: I will do no such thing.

Buzz Cut: Wait a minute... I remember you now. I logged on to Manhunt last week to check my messages, and this guy says hi to me. So, I say hi back and read the rest of my messages and then log out. Two days later, I log in again and I find nine hostile messages, all from this guy telling me how much of an asshole I am and how I must feel too superior to talk to someone like him and how much of a slut he thinks I am.

Sgt. Grunt: What the...? I should pound the motherfucker.

Dr. Moss: Not before I turn your slutty, whore ass boyfriend into Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley.

And with those words, Dr. Moss did a rather queer dance on one leg while pointing at Buzz Cut and “POOOOOF” Buzz Cut was turned into Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley. And then Dr. Moss was gone in a flash.



Squiggy: HELLO!

Sgt. Grunt: What the...? Where’s Buzzy? Where’s my little buddy? Where’s that motherfucker Dr. Moss!?? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mo #1: What a horrible thing to happen to us just a few days before Christmas.

Mo #2: Yeah! Where’s Buzz Cut? Doesn’t this Squiggy guy have his own boyfriend?

Mo #3: Well, we’d better do something about all of this. Fast.

Mo #4: Yeah, but what?

Mo #1: Well, when bad things happen around this time of year, it’s best to call the Winter Warlock.

Mo #4: Who?

Mo #2: The Winter Warlock. He’s that old man on the top of the mountain on the inside cover of Led Zeppelin’s forth album. We should call him.

Mo #3: Yeah, we should. But how?

Mo #1: Well, the best way to do that is to sing that old Christmastime standard that the Winter Warlock likes the best.

Mo #2: You mean The Misty Mountain Hop.



Mo #1: Right. Now I’ll grab my guitar and you all gather ‘round and we’ll sing together. I’ll start us out...

Walkin' in the park just the other day, Buddy.
What do you, what do you think I saw?
Crowds of people sittin' on the grass with flowers in their hair said,
"Hey, Boy, do you wanna score?"
And you know how it is...

The other G.I. Mo’s and Squiggy joined in.

Well you know, They asked us to stay for tea and have some fun,
Oh, oh, he said that his friends would all drop by, ooh

Their singing seemed to be working. Something was happening. Suddenly, there was a mist in the air.

Why don't you take a good look at yourself and describe what you see,
And Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, do you like it?

The mist was taking shape.

Then, the Winter Warlock appeared and joined the Mo’s in song:

So I've decided what I'm gonna do now.
So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains
Where the spirits go now,
Over the hills where the spirits fly.

All Mo’s and Winter Warlock: Ooh! Oooh! I really don’t know.

Winter Warlock: Oh, look at all the G.I Mo’s! My favorite adventure team. Well, I do say, it’s my extreme pleasure to be awoken from the Led Zeppelin four album cover by you studs! So, what I can I do for you boys today?

Mo# 2: Well, you see Winter, there’s this mean guy named Dr. Moss who has turned our buddy’s boyfriend, Buzz Cut, into Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley.

Squiggy: HELLO!

Mo #1: And, to tell you the truth, we kind of liked Buzz Cut better. He’s our pal.

Winter Warlock: Oh yes. I see. That is a big problem. Well, there is only thing that we can do.

Mo #3: What?

Winter Warlock: We will summon the evil Dr. Moss and make him take his curse back.

All the G.I. Mo’s: Yo Mo!

Winter Warlock: Evil and envious Dr. Moss, how dare you put a curse on this sexy G.I. Mo. I command you to appear before me and take the curse off of him.

Dr. Moss: What do you bitches want now? And, who’s that? Your most recent senior citizen bukakee target?



Winter Warlock: How dare you throw out insults like a monster without a leash. These good G.I. Mo’s have taken an oath to seek out adventure and get it on with as many other hot dudes as possible. You have taken it upon yourself to take this Mo’s hot little fuck buddy and turn him into a Squigmon. And, at this time of year, when you should be thinking of how are you going to cuddle up with as many hot men as possible to keep warm. For shame. You are doing just the opposite by handing out insults and putting curses on hot daddy’s boys.

Dr. Moss: Well, I was just trying to fit in. I saw the G.I. Mo’s on the Extraordinarily Unexciting Lives of Bubala, Mumi and Max, and I just really wanted to be one of the Mo’s too. They just looked so hot and acted so cool. I wanted to be one of them too. I knew right away though that they would reject me because I’m not as hot or as sexy as they are. And, they did reject me. I messaged one of them on Manhunt, and he completely ignored me.

Mo #4: Hey man, a lot of time we G.I. Mo’s are pretty busy.

Mo #1: Yeah. It takes a lot of time and hard work to plan a great adventure.

Mo #2: And, we are not always having sex. Sometimes, we have to sleep.

Mo #3: Yeah. Also, sexy is in the eye of the beholder. You should let others decide if they think that you’re hot or not before you judge yourself for them. I think that if you hadn’t acted like such an asshole, I would of wanted to do you. What do you think guys?

Mo #4: Yeah man. He looks like a hot, early 80’s porn star!

Dr. Moss: Well, what if I take the curse off of Buzz Cut?

And, with those words, Squiggy from Laverne and Shirley was gone and the beloved G.I. Mo fuck buddy, Buzz Cut, was back.

Dr. Moss: Well, what do you say now guys? Wanna fuck?

Winter Warlock: Not so fast there bud. Since you have displayed such dismal characteristics such as alienation, self loathing and hostility towards others, I am going to put a curse on you. I am going to turn you into the G.I. Mo’s Christmas tree this year. That will teach you the important lessons of fitting in, self confidence, being the centerpiece of a gathering and most importantly, how to stop being such an nasty asshole and how to let your inner beauty shine through. As a bonus, you’ll get to watch all of these hot G.I. Mo’s have one of their infamous and exclusive G.I. Mo fuck parties.

Dr. Moss: Will you really? Oh, that would be the best Christmas gift I ever got!

And so, with a wave the Winter Warlock’s magic wand, Dr. Moss was turned the G.I. Mo’s Christmas tree. And that year, the Mo’s had not one, not three, but ten G.I. Mo hot man-sex parties just so Dr. Moss could feel more like one of the guys. And, they all shot lots and lots of hot hairy man jizz on one another’s furry chests and beards underneath that Christmas tree.



All the G.I. Mo’s, Winter Warlock, Jimmy Jar Head: Merry Christmas to all of the G.I. Mo’s everywhere! Yo Mo!

When Are You Going To Stop Believing The Weather Men?

I had been looking forward to this past weekend for quite a long time, and the threat of rain, snow, freezing rain, sleet, snain, row, or whatever was not going to be enough to keep us from having a grand old time. Besides, the weather men never seem to be able to get the forecast right any more, so I have stopped believing them altogether. I have become a better predictor of the weather lately than they.



So, on Saturday night, we braved the cold rain and localized flooding and headed on down to D.C. for our monthly dose of shirtless, hairy hunks a.k.a. Blowoff! What a great night it was. Not as many of the regulars in attendance as usual, but not to worry, there was plenty of hot scruff to keep my eyes entertained. Dumbek and Dinger were both there. That was a special treat since we had not seen them in such a long time. Copperred was there with his handsome full beard. So was the ever sexy Skwurl. Of course, The Bowie Cub and Drew were there too. Even Charlie Brown and The Grinch stopped by for a bit.



The 9:30 Club was all decorated up with Christmas trees and pretty lights. It was all very festive. Morel even played "Merry Christmas To Everyone." The whole night really helped me to get more into the Christmas spirit. Or, maybe it all just made me really horny... It was a good thing either way though!







We got home very early Sunday morning and dropped into bed for a few hours of sleep. Sunday was going to be another day on the run. We had made plans to head down to D.C. again for the Underwear Party at Titan/Ramrod.

Max thought that he was gonna get to go to the underwear party!


I have to admit that when we first got to the party, I was thinking that we had a big mistake by going. There weren't many people there at first, and we didn't know any of them! Of course, we were also a bit shy about stripping down to our skivvies in front of all of these total strangers. A little while later though, familiar faces started popping up. The Bowie Cub stopped in. Clickboo dropped by. (And "dropped trou!" Very Nice!) So, we got a little more comfortable and a lot more naked. It turned out to be a pretty good time. The best part of the underwear party was meeting the party host. He is very sweet and super sexy. He looked great in his red Speedo too.

All in all, I would say that it was a pretty fantastic weekend. A great way to start the final countdown to the holiday madness. I still have a bit of shopping to do, but that should be pretty easy. Then, there's the wrapping and exchanging and parties and all of that. I'm starting to get into it a little more each day. We even put a few decorations and a tree up, so it's beginning to look a little more like Christmas.

I think I'll get through it all just fine... I hope...

Disturbing Elf Dance

Wow. My brother just sent me this link. Seems that he had a few minutes of free time recently and decided to make Bubala and Mumi do the Elf Dance.

It's pretty disturbing if you ask me.

But funny too!

A Holiday Craft Idea From Bubala & Mumi

(queue in early 60's light and happy holiday elevator music for background...)

Dreading the up coming holiday season?

Around the Xmas holiday, do you find yourself asking your lover, "Honey, do you really think we should get our sisters' and our brothers' kids so much crap this year?"

You remember just how it goes from Xmases past. You sit there and open the one present that they got for you while their precious little monsters spend an hour opening all the presents you got for them. And, it always leaves you with that really uneasy feeling of, "Hmmmm... our siblings already got all the marriage rights and now we have to buy Birthday and Xmas presents for all of the products of their sickening sexual exercises? Now, that just doesn't seem EQUAL!"

(queue loud echo FX on the word equal...)

Well, Bubala and Mumi are here to help!

Introducing, the all new JARHEAD! The happy, handy equalizer for all of your sibling rivalry holiday needs! You won't have to spend an arm and a leg at Best Buy to own your very own Jarhead either. Here's how you can make one right in your very own home.

Supplies you'll need...

1. Find a clean jar with a lid. Remove the label by soaking in warm, soapy water.
2. Using construction paper, cut out two eyes, a nose and a mouth. You can color them with magic markers to add more detail or to choose a male or female look. Be creative with it!
3. Now COMES the HARD part. You and your partner each have to ejaculate into the jar. Now, come on, be a man about it. Hold off for a few days and build up a good load, but have fun with it too. Maybe even make it romantic. Light a candle. Make a fancy dinner. Repeat this step until the jar is filled with your creamy man dressing. (Girls, I have no knowledge of how you all would do this, but if you can find a way to get it in there, you too can have your own Jarhead!)
4. Now, put the lid on the jar and shake it up to mix yours and your partner's love goo thoroughly.
5. Next, using a glue stick, attach the eyes, nose, mouth and any other things you'd like to decorate your Jarhead.
6. Then, give your Jarhead a name like Jimmy, Janie, Johnny or Jenny Jarhead.
7. Lastly, and this is the best part, call up your sister or brother and gloat about your new Jarhead.

---Ring-Ring-Ring---

Sister: Hello?
Mumi: Hey 'Sis! You'll never guess what Bubala and I just made.
Sister: (Excitedly) What?
Mumi: A Jimmy Jarhead!
Sister: A What?
Mumi: A Jimmy Jarhead! Now the product of our sexual exercises can join us for Christmas dinner! Just like yours. Isn't that fantastic?
Sister: Well I...
Mumi: Yeah. It's the best thing to happen since your bratty, obnoxious offspring dropped out of you.
Sister: Well I...
Mumi: And the best part is that Jimmy can sit at the kids' table and the kids can take turns mixing him up and watching his insides swirl all around. He really likes that you know. He says that it tickles! Wait... Hold on a sec, 'Sis... What's that Jimmy? Oh, okay. Thanks, sweetie. Hey 'Sis, Jimmy just handed me his Christmas list. He wants a Fender Stratocaster, a new bike, a 160GB Ipod, Evil Dead II on DVD, a G.I. Joe man, Hungry Hungry Hippos and a new flat screen TV for his bedroom. Now, you'll be sure to be a great and generous aunt to my precious little Jimmy Jarhead just like I am a great uncle to your hyperactive, Nintendoed-out, vidiot retards, right?
Sister: Well I...
Mumi: Great! This is going to be the best Christmas ever with little Jimmy Jarhead as an addition to our family. And, you'll have to see all of the pictures of little Jimmy that Bubala took. He put them all on one of those digital picture frames. It's adorable. You're gonna love it! There's even a few pictures of Bubala and I "making" Jimmy. Awesome stuff! Well, great talking to you 'Sis. You had better get out there and start shopping. You know how the month of December always seems to fly by, and Christmas will be here before you know it.
Sister: Well I...

---Click!---

Smells Like Christmas Spirit...

I'm just not feeling it very much this year. At least not like I have in years past. I mean, it's not like I'm being a total Grinch or anything like that. I had a great time shopping for toys that I later donated to charity. I am also having a great time buying toys for my two year old nephew. I just can't seem to get into it for myself.

We haven't sent out Christmas cards yet. We haven't put up a single decoration. No tree. No lights. Not even a wreath. I can't even think of a single thing that I want for Christmas. I asked all of my relatives to donate to charity any money that they were thinking of spending on presents for me. I even cancelled the family Christmas party at our place this year.

I'm not depressed or anything. At least, I don't think I am. I feel happy enough. I just don't seem to have the Christmas spirit this year.

What's wrong with me?

God Thinks Led Zeppelin Is A Faggot

For a great portion of the world, however, we all think that Led Zeppelin is greater then God himself. So, that's probably why he feels that way. For almost 40 years now, that spiritual entity that is LZ has soothed the savage teenager and fueled their sexual energy with screams of ecstasy and pounding passion and uplifting, majestic chords stolen from God's golden box. (Yeah. John Paul Jones was always my favorite too.)

You can still go into any suburban mall in the 2000's and see people both young and old in LZ t-shirts just like the way it was in the 70's and 80's and 90's. Nothing's changed. Led Zeppelin is a constant, just like Jesus, only more bombastic and sexual. Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah love love love love. That is why God thinks that Led Zeppelin is a faggot. After all, he made Robert Plant wear those girly shirts with his hairy chest exposed and those tight jeans wear you can see his dick and balls. He also made Jimmy Page use double neck guitars because two dicks are better than one.

It is a little known fact that God himself was involved with LZ in the earlier part of their recording career. It was the early 70's and God was still mourning the loss of his fallen spiritual children, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Jim Morrison. Realizing that LZ had the same spiritual potential, God took it upon himself to guide the band. God realized that even though the band members themselves were heterosexual, the actual spiritual energy of the band was obliviously that of a flaming faggot. Now, if you listen to the words of someone like Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church, you might believe that God hates faggots. Actually, God has an uncanny sense of humor and that's why he made Fred Phelps and the gays in the first place. To liven up an otherwise dreary human species.



And so, back in 1971, when God was working on the artwork for the forth LZ album cover, you know, the entitled "One" (or Led Zeppelin IV or Zoso or Ruins or Stairway To Heaven... You can take your pick!) He decided to throw in a very gay twist. Just because God is witty and funny and very self amusing. He decided, "Okay. Here I have a picture of an old man, all hunched over with a cane. What if I put a fagot (which everyone knows is a bundle of sticks bound toghether) on his back? That way, this old guy can be taking it up the bum by a faggot, and no one will even notice."

I don't think that God had any idea how huge that LZ album would become. He never imagined that image would be printed on t-shirts and buttons and posters millions of times over. Also, I'm not so sure who that old guy on the cover was, but I have my suspicions.

A few years later, God really had a falling out with LZ when he realized that they, like the Beatles, had gotten bigger than Jesus. In fact, he got so miffed that he took John Bonham away from us which pretty much ended the band. And, except for a few appearances here and there, the band has remained the same. Locked away from soaring in the air. Until tonight, when the Mothership will soar once again and fill the air with the beautiful, sexual hymns that will be sung for generations to come.

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled,
It's been a long time since I did the stroll.
Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,
Let me get it back, baby, where I come from.
It's been a long time, been a long time,
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Yes, it has.

New York Is A Woman. Baltimore Is A Crack Head.

Last night, Mumi and I saw Suzanne Vega perform at Ram's Head Live in Baltimore.

If I was any good at all at writing concert reviews, I would tell you how awesome she was. I would tell you that she really blew me away. I would tell you that her voice was absolutely perfect and beautiful. I would tell you that the band was so tight and sounded wonderful.

But, I am not so good at writing concert reviews, so I'll just say that the show was great and, for me at least, a completely unexpected treat. She even played my favorite Suzanne Vega song. And my second favorite Suzanne Vega song.

Oh yeah, let me tell you about the title of this blog post. As Suzanne was introducing one of her new songs called 'New York Is A Woman,' she was talking about how she wasn't sure if Baltimore was a man or a woman. So, she asked the crowd what we thought. Some Spandex-clad, halter top wearing, big 80's haired chick in the crowd hollered out, "Baltimore is a crack head!" Sometimes, I am so proud of Bawl'mer, hun!

A Little Safer For Work Than Before... But Still...

Raging Mumi Productions
In Association With
Absolutely Not Safe For Work Pictures
Presents...
The G.I.Mo's Adventure Team In An All New Adventure...
"The Attack Of The Evil Annacuntinator"

Just off the coast of Antogfagasta is the secret hide out of The Evil Annacuntinator, a fascist bigot and foe of the G.I. Moe Adventure Team. As usual, she was up to no good spreading the words of hate, intolerance and Republican-Christian ignorance. She was just getting ready to interrupt all of the Internet, television and radio signals throughout the world with her message of hate.

Buzzzzz... Buzz... Buzz... White noise interruption and buzz came across the televisions, computers and radios across the world. Buzzzz... Buzzzz.. Buzzz... Then, a live feed of the Annacuntinator came across on everyone's screens, and she began to speak.



The Annacuntinator: My fellow Christians, I am here today with a message from our Dear Lord above. His message is very clear about his feelings on this subject. God hates fags, and he wants you to kill them all. It's obvious that homosexuals only want to rape your children, and your wives, and your husbands and your family dog. They want to invade our lives with their sick, perverted lifestyle and take over the media and the governments of the world. The gays are the most deadly terrorist organization in the world, and if you see one of them, you should shoot them in the head. The greatest American president ever, Ronald Reagan, God rest his soul, tried, but failed, to save us all from the evil homosexuals when he came up with his secret plan to exterminate the gays in the early 1980's using a form of cancer that is transmitted when the gays have sex. Only, his great vision backfired when some of the gay men had sex with women and spread the disease to our righteous and glorious heterosexual world. It is their fault, therefore, that that this disease is here. The Lord has spoken, and he wants us to kill all of the gays.

Meanwhile...



The GI Mo's were all getting a good old fashion boot cleaning from their favorite boot pig, Mo Buzz, when the announcement came in over the radio.

Sgt. Grunt: We have to make our move now Mo's!

Mo #1: Okay, guys. Let's go fuck that bitch up.

Mo #2: I'll grab the bazooka Crisco shooter.

Mo #3: I'll grab the gay porn magazines.

Mo #4: I'll get the dildos.

Mo #1: I'll grab the nipple clamps and my scrotum piecing gun.

Sgt. Grunt: And I'll grab our most lethal weapon of all... the 8 hour mega-dance remix of the Village People's Macho Man and YMCA.

Whole Adventure Team: Yo Mo!

Buzz: I'll just stay here and wait to clean your boots off when you get back.

The GI Mo's used their ‘Fascist Republican-Christian-Asshole-Scum' GPS to locate where The Annacuntinator was hiding out. They snuck in just as she was about to go live with another message of hate and intolerance.

Sgt. Grunt: Hold it right there Annacuntinator! You can't go on spreading your bigotry around the world. We are the GI Mo's, and we are here to put an end to your evil, Christian ways!

The Annacuntinator: No! You filthy homosexuals! Get away get away. Shoo. Don't touch me.

Mo #1: Your days are numbered Annacuntinator!

Mo #2: Quick Mo's. Everyone grab a gay porn mag.



The Annacuntinator: No! Not gay porn magazines! Jesus, protect me from the infidels!

Mo #1: Yes, Annacuntinator. Gay porn magazines. Part of a multi-billion dollar a year industry. Because men everywhere around the world like to see a dude stick his dick in another dude's mouth.

Mo #3: Yeah, and sometimes they like to watch dudes sticking their hard fucking cocks up other dudes' hairy fucking assholes.

The Annacuntinator: Stop it! Stop saying those horrible, evil things! I'll pray to Mary. That's what I'll do. Oh Mary, shield me with your glorious, holy light. Shield me against these evil homosexuals.

Mo #2: And sometimes men like to get together in groups and watch gay porno movies and jerk their dicks off onto each others beards.

Mo #4: Yeah, and then some of us like to eat the man goo off of those beards.

Sgt. Grunt: Damn Mo's! You all are giving me a big old boner with all of this nasty talk. Who's ready to suck my cock, and who wants to eat my ass?

The Annacuntinator, weakened from this homosexual onslaught falls down in utter disgust at the G.I. Mo's dirty gay sex talk.



The Annacuntinator: Ahhhhhhh! You sick G.I. Mo's. You are totally grossing me out the max. You may have won this battle, but you haven't seen the last of me. You perverted homosexuals! I'll be back with Jesus and George W. Bush to destroy you all.

And with that, The evil Annacuntinator got up and ran screaming away into the night.

Mo #1: Well, I'm sure that we haven't seen the last of that bitch.

Mo #3: Good, because I think she needs a brief education on the S&M hankie code.

Mo #3: You know, I think she was wearing blond fur panties.

Mo #4: Well, at least we stopped her this time.

Sgt. Grunt: Right Mo's! And remember, if you don't speak out against hatred and bigotry, then you are just as guilty of being a bigot. Now, let's all go home and get our dicks sucked by Buzz!

Whole Adventure Team: Yo Mo!



The G.I. Mo Adventure team went back to headquarters to relax and get their dicks sucked. And, as for The Annacuntinator, she was last seen, still very traumatized, hanging around in a very seedy part of town.