Pink Is The New Pope

I must admit that I have not paid too much attention to too many Popes over the years. Something about men dressing up in long, frilly, flowing robes and funny church lady hats and prancing all around handing out hate to the homos (Oooooh, A+ for alliteration!) while blessing every hetero sinner in sight, well, it all seems a little too disingenuous... ritualistic... rehearsed... well, just plain phony to me.

With that said however, is it just me, or is Pope Benedict just about the most unhappy looking Pope that you have ever seen? I have never seen him with a smile on his face. Well, besides an evil little grin every now and again, that is.

You'd think he'd be thrilled to be alive just about all of the time. I mean he gets all the free communion wafers, holy water and little boys that he could possibly want. He gets to ride around in that awesome Popemobile. I'm sure that he has God's cell phone number, for crying out loud. What more could a mortal man want?

Oh wait! I've got it. I know what would make him happier. A makeover!!! Yeah, that'll do it! I'm such a friggin' genius!


See, doesn't he look so much happier already?