Pornquest

I went porn shopping with a friend today in Washington, D.C. There are no good gay porn outlets here in the Baltimore area, so I figured that I'd give Our Nation's Capital a try. I was looking for a particular movie released earlier this year called Mirage. The movie is jam packed with hot, hard, hairy men licking, sucking and just sexing it all up with each other. (Including my part-time boyfriend, Steve Cruz!)

The clerks at all three shops that we went to had no idea what movie I was asking them about, but they all did have plenty of hairless twink vids, lots of fisting flicks, too many thug DVD's to count and more piss pictures than you could shake your dick at. Is that what all of the "bois" are into these days?

Disappointed, but not yet completely defeated, I figured that I would head on over to the porn capital of D.C., also known as this guy's neighborhood! I had already read so much about the "gay book store" over there that I was sure that they would have the smut that I was seeking. Of course, not being all that familiar with the area, I had to do a little searching around to actually find the shop.

After about a half an hour of wandering aimlessly up and the down the streets, I found it. It was just as I had imagined it too. Complete with the "tacky billboard in front of the store with cut-out photos of half naked men from porn magazines."

So, with renewed vigor and enthusiasm, I reached for the door knob to let myself into the porno emporium. It was locked. WTF?!? It was only then that I noticed the crude, hand lettered, torn cardboard sign in the front window. It read, "Store no open today 'til 3:00pm." It was only 1:30pm. Sh*t! Unfortunately, I couldn't wait around for the store to open, so I was going to have to go home empty handed and completely flaccid today.

Ah well. Maybe I should just buy my porn on the Internet like everyone else, huh?