Someone Broke My Thai Hymen

Disclaimer: I was going to title this blog entry, "The City 'Mo and the Country 'Mo", but I didn't want those of you familiar with that story about those two wacky mice to get the wrong idea about how I feel about living in the city. Unlike that wussy, little country rodent, I really do like the city. In fact, if I was rich beyond my wildest imagination, I'd certainly have a second home in Washington, D.C. Oh yeah, I was also going to post a picture of an actual hymen to go along with this here story, but actual hymens are fuckin' nasty! I almost threw up my Pop-Tarts™ while I was doing the image search. So, I decided to spare you all the trauma of having to look at a virgin girl pussy.

This past weekend, Mumi and I went into Washington, D.C. to hang out and have dinner with some buds. Being from the country (the suburbs of Baltimore, actually), we are not accustomed to city living and all of it's strangeness.

You see, where we live, in the back woods, Deliverance territory, going out to dinner is an easy decision. We have a choice of either fast food, fried food or fast, fried food. Dinner in the big city, however, that's a whole other ball game. You guys have so many choices. It must take you at least 30 minutes every night just to decide what kind of food you want.

Here are some actual snippets of our conversations about choosing where we would be going for dinner:

City Mouse: "How about Ethiopian?"

Country Mouse: "Um, they have food in Ethiopia? Everyone is awfully skinny there and I'm pretty hungry. Maybe we better try someplace else."

City Mouse: "How about Thai?"

Country Mouse: "Oh no. I'm not going anyplace where I have to dress up."

City Mouse:"Indian?"

Country Mouse: "The turkey will make me too sleepy, and I'm not all that fond of maize."

Okay, okay, maybe the conversations didn't go exactly like that, but that is just about how I felt. I am so uncultured!

We finally decided on Thai food because I know that I like Cup-O-Noodles™ and Thai food has a lot of noodles in it, so I was pretty sure that I could find something on the menu that I'd like. Turns out, I really liked the Thai food a lot. I got some sort of chicken dish with noodles and vegetables and it was very delicious. I gained a little bit of culture on that night. I was no longer a Thai food virgin. My Thai hymen had been broken, and it felt good. Really good...