All In All It's Just Another Trip To The Wal

Yesterday, Henrietta and I got up real early, so we could secretly spend the morning traveling around to lots of Wal-Marts in the Baltimore metropolitan area looking for G.I. Joe dolls. We were trying to surprise Mumi.

In case you haven't figured it out already, Mumi has recently become re-obsessed with G.I. Joe. He happened to find a couple of 12" G.I. Joe dolls at a Wal-Mart the other night by accident. Come to find out that Wal-Mart has been selling five different dolls that are the replicas of the 12" Joe's from the 1960's and 1970's. Of course, as soon as Mumi found out about this, we had to go to every Wal-Mart in Glen Burnie (there are three) to see if they had any more dolls.

Well, even after Mumi bought up the whole inventory of dolls at the Glen Burnie stores, he still wasn't satisfied. So, that was when I decided that I would have to make the trek out a little further to some Wal-Marts in the neighboring cities to see if I could find more dolls.

I sat down at the computer and opened Google Earth and plotted out my strategy, much like a G.I. Joe Adventure Teamer would do. I decided to call it, "Operation: Doll Snatch." I found seven Wal-Marts within 20 miles of home, and then I planned my route. The Wal-Mart locations formed a circle on the map, so I wrote down all of the addresses, grabbed Henrietta and headed out to the Wal-Mart closest to me.

Nothing at the first Wal-Mart...


Nothing at the second Wal-Mart...


Nothing at the third Wal-Mart...


The third Wal-Mart was a two story Wal-Mart. I had never seen a two story Wal-Mart before! The coolest part was that there were escalators for the carts! As you go up the escalator, your cart follows you up on a separate escalator just for carts! That was pretty cool!



I typed the address for the forth Wal-Mart into Henrietta, but she wasn't liking it. She was very insistent that the street address that I was looking for was not in Baltimore. So, I used the nearby places search feature and said, "Henrietta, take me to the nearest Wal-Mart." She obliged... Sort of... That dumb bitch took me to a Sam's Club! Oh well, no problem. I typed in the next address and headed onward.

When I got to the next location, however, there was no Wal-Mart. Only an empty store. It used to be a Wal-Mart, but apparently, it had moved to a new address that Henrietta wasn't familiar with.

At this point, as you can probably imagine, I was getting discouraged. It was two hours later. I had been to three Wal-Marts. I had no G.I. Joe dolls. I was tired and hungry. "Operation: Doll Snatch" was failing... rapidly! I pressed onward though....

Nothing at the forth Wal-Mart...


Nothing at the fifth Wal-Mart...


I was really ready to give up at this point. "Operation Doll Snatch" had been an absolute and utter flop. I hopped in the truck and started off for home. There was one more Wal-Mart on the way home though. Should I even bother stopping? I really wasn't going to, but I had to drive right past it to get home. So, I stopped.

And, this is where where it happened...


I found more G.I. Joe dolls! Yay! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!

Wal-Mart Jesus, that is...


I happily bought up a few of the dolls, got in my truck and headed for home. I was confident that I had been a good Adventure Teamer! I had won the battle. I had planned and executed my mission with all the dignity, honor and respect that you'd expect from a Real American Hero like G.I. Joe. I was victorious. The world was safe again.

Safe again, for now at least...