Happy Birthday Bald Monkey!

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
I look like a monkey
And I live in a tree

39 years ago today, an alien ape was born unto this land. He was bald where some day there would be hair and hairy where some day there would be just baldness. Inside of his body, over the years things just grew and accumulated, kind of like a compulsive shopper who lives in a one bedroom apartment. He would be fine for a while. But, 39 years later, his body is too small for his soul and, as a result, it is splitting at the seams and leaking all over the place.

On the more optimistic side, according to Genre magazine, he only has one more year left before those nice young queens in their clean white coats dress him in a muumuu, a big floppy hat and those 70's looking Elton John sunglasses and ship him off to Palm Springs to drink chartreuse tropical drinks in the sun with all the other over 40 gay guys. Isn't that the gay retirement age? You know, it's kind of like that movie, Wild In The Streets where they lowered the voting age to 14 and sent everyone over the age of 30 to LSD concentration camps.

On the other hand, I suppose that the idea of being an overweight twenty-something straight guy married to the ever-evolving bitch with a few children certainly doesn't appeal to this monkey. He has always seen that lifestyle more as a death-style. So, maybe Palm Springs isn't all that bad. He could work on his tan, get a crystal meth habit and have lots of mindless sloppy sex with everyone. Oh yeah, that's all part of the gay retirement plan.


Pssst! Hey guys, it's me, Bubala! I snuck into Mumi's blog post so that I could add this pic of him so you all can see that he is still hot as shit, even at 39! Enjoy the pic while you can. As soon as he finds out I snuck it in here, he's probably gonna make me delete it! :) Now, back to Mumi's post...

Only, I kind of think that when his time comes (in only a year) he won't be quite ready to go. He'll be saying, "Who me? I'm not 40. I'm only 30. I wasn't born in the year of the Summer Of Love. I was born in the year that punk broke." Maybe if he just plays it real cool and tries to blend in, those queens in their clean white coats won't catch up with him for a few extra years. What do you think?

Oh yeah, this Birthday stuff certainly has had a traumatic effect on this monkey at least once before. It was the only time that he has ever had his head between the legs of a woman. Something he vowed never to have happen again... ever. Ew, Yuck!