Hope They Don't Revoke My Membership Card
I am not so sure that I am so good at being a homosexual.
I mean, I love cock and all. And, hairy men still get me rock hard. Still, I'm just not convinced that I am being the best homosexual that I can be.
Let's see... Here are some things that I don't like:
My house isn't all done up with the latest furnishings from Ikea or Restoration Hardware. I don't care about how much money you make. I drive a pick up truck. Most of my clothes come from Target. My shoes cost less than a nice dinner for four at Boston Market. I don't know how to match wallpaper with sofa coverings. I wear Fruit Of The Looms. I don't eat at any restaurant that I cannot pronounce. Sweats and a T-shirt are formal wear at my house. My dog is a mutt. I only own three pairs of shoes. I don't live in the city. Most of my socks are white. I believe that dress shoes are for weddings, funerals and job interviews only. I don't know which fork is the dessert fork. I don't know how to exfoliate.
Oh, there is just so much more. Too much to mention, in fact. I just really do not think that I am a very good homosexual. Anyone know of any 12 step programs out there for guys like me?
On the bright side, I do love Abba. I am a roller coaster nut. And, I think that Jake Gyllenhaal is totally hot. So, there is hope for me yet!
I mean, I love cock and all. And, hairy men still get me rock hard. Still, I'm just not convinced that I am being the best homosexual that I can be.
Let's see... Here are some things that I don't like:
- Broadway Musicals
- Drag Shows
- Dressing Up Like A Lady
- Shaving Any Part Of My Body
- Guys With Any Part Of Their Body Shaved
- Barbara Streisand
- Clubbing
- Dressing Up In Leather (Although some guys do look good in leather...)
- Ecstasy
- Mariah Carey
- Olympic Figure Skating
- Will & Grace
- Pierced Nipples
- Mini Coopers
- Judy Garland
- Cirque du Soleil
- The Wizard Of Oz
- Prince Alberts (I'm really on the fence on this one. I mean, it is in a cock after all, and I do love those.)
- Disney (Well, I do like some Disney theme parks, but those sappy cartoons, ugh!)
- Wearing Feathers Or Wings Or Glitter On Any Part Of My Body
- Using The Word "Fabulous"
- Screaming Banshee Dance Music
- Anal Sex
- Zima
My house isn't all done up with the latest furnishings from Ikea or Restoration Hardware. I don't care about how much money you make. I drive a pick up truck. Most of my clothes come from Target. My shoes cost less than a nice dinner for four at Boston Market. I don't know how to match wallpaper with sofa coverings. I wear Fruit Of The Looms. I don't eat at any restaurant that I cannot pronounce. Sweats and a T-shirt are formal wear at my house. My dog is a mutt. I only own three pairs of shoes. I don't live in the city. Most of my socks are white. I believe that dress shoes are for weddings, funerals and job interviews only. I don't know which fork is the dessert fork. I don't know how to exfoliate.
Oh, there is just so much more. Too much to mention, in fact. I just really do not think that I am a very good homosexual. Anyone know of any 12 step programs out there for guys like me?
On the bright side, I do love Abba. I am a roller coaster nut. And, I think that Jake Gyllenhaal is totally hot. So, there is hope for me yet!
posted by Unknown at 8:58 AM
2 Comments:
The 2nd to last part is a biggie - well it would be to me at least ;-) But it doesn't make you any less of a homo - unless of course you are some right wing conservative... in which case well, exorcisms may be indicated as a 12 step wouldn't be enough for that! ;-)
No! Heavens no! I am no conservative! Ugh, what an icky thought! :)
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