If You Wanna Be Happy For The Rest Of Your Life

Glen Burnie is full of hot guys. Blue collar guys, hairy daddies, young jocks, cute yo' boys, just all kinds of hot guys. Even a short trip to the local Target to pick up some toilet paper will guarantee glimpses of some stunning eye candy just about every time.

A curious thing about these hot Glen Burnie guys is their choice in women. Quite frankly, it seems that the hottest guys around here end up with the ugliest chicks. It doesn't make any sense at all. I have seen the most handsome, hairiest, muscle bound, beefcake, blue collar stud walking hand in hand down the feminine deodorant products aisle with the ugliest, fattest, hatchet-face of a wife/girlfriend. How does this happen? I mean, there are plenty of pretty girls around here.

I can only speculate that all the pretty girls in Glen Burnie must either be really slutty, really mean, totally neurotic or some combination of those things. There must be something that makes all those hot, hunky men decide that the pretty girls just aren't worth it. Or, maybe the girls start out pretty and then as soon as they land a hunk, they just let themselves go. That's a possibility. Maybe they all start out as beauty queens but then as soon as they sucker a hot man into a commitment, they just start pigging out on the Double Stuf Oreos and forget all about make-up and personal hygiene.

Or, maybe the ugly chicks are secretly all evil, hypnotist succubuses. Yeah, that must be it. There is no way those guys would fall for them otherwise. Maybe we need to set up some sort of intervention to save all of the hot guys of Glen Burnie. Who's ready to help me out here?

On a related note that just might explain it all, how come all of the hottest guys in Glen Burnie, even the ones with wives and girlfriends, are constantly checking out my cock when I wear sweat pants or flimsy shorts? They're not inconspicuous about it either. I catch them just staring right at it as it dangles past them. Sometimes they even catch me catching them sneaking a peek at the little guy. They don't even get embarrassed or look away. Maybe all of the guys in Glen Burnie are really secretly gay and they hire ugly chicks to pose as their significant others to please their parents or whatever. Or, maybe they just marry them for the tax benefits or for health care coverage. Who knows?!?