Sun, Fun & A Wet White Bathing Suit

Yesterday, we continued our Crazy Summer Coaster-thon with a stop at Dorney Park & Wildwater Kingdom in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Dorney Park installed a new roller coaster last season called Hydra, The Revenge. Hydra was designed by my favorite coaster designers, Bolliger & Mabillard. It is a decent coaster. It won't ever be my favorite coaster, but it is a nice ride. One pretty cool thing about Hydra is that as soon as the train leaves the loading station, it immediately twists upside down into a corkscrew before it even makes it to the lift hill. Fun stuff!

The day was a real scorcher with temperatures in the upper 90's for most of the afternoon. We spent a lot of time in Wildwater Kingdom, the waterpark section of the park. Wildwater Kingdom is a pretty big waterpark. They have two wave pools and two awesome lazy rivers. The best lazy rivers that we have ever been on, full of waterfalls and waterspouts. The waterpark also has 18 different waterslides and a three story water house with geysers, huge water-dumping buckets and many other great water effects. One problem with the waterpark though is that it is set up like a labyrinth. Lots of paths that lead around in circles, sidewalks that lead to nowhere. It was very difficult for us to find the entrances for some of the slides that we wanted to ride. We still had a great time though.

The best thing in the waterpark yesterday, however, was not a pool or a waterslide. The best thing in the waterpark yesterday was the very attractive, muscular African-American guy who, for whatever reason, thought that it would be a good idea to wear his white mesh shorts with no underwear into the waterpark. As your dirty little minds can only imagine, as soon as the water hit those shorts, it was peep show central for the rest of us. The shorts became virtually transparent. We got some great views of this guy's big cock snaking halfway down his thigh. You could really see it all. Nothing was left to the imagination. Sadly, he only hung out (pun intended) near us for a few seconds. Mumi seems to think that he figured out that we were staring wide-eyed, with mouths gaping right at his dick and he got weirded out and left us in a hurry. I prefer to think that he was really only there to show it off to us in the first place and that he left quickly because he was just a big tease. Either way, he obviously wanted us to look. No doubt.


The later afternoon and early evening hours were spent riding some more coasters. I had forgotten how much I really enjoy one of Dorney Park's coasters called Steel Force. Steel Force is a 200 foot tall steel mega coaster with no inversions. Just a lot of ups and downs and turn arounds. It reaches a top speed of 75 miles per hour during it's three minute 5,600 foot long journey. It is a very fast, but very smooth roller coaster. The trains on Steel Force sit higher up off the tracks than they do on a lot of other coasters so it seems, to me at least, that there is more a sensation of flying on this ride than on a lot of other coasters. I guess the smoothness of the ride adds to the sensation of flying as well. I could ride this coaster over and over again without complaining. It is not a head banger or a brain juggler for sure. It's a great ride.

I'd have to say that the guys at Dorney Park were not as cute as they have been at other parks that we have been to so far this year. So, guy watching was not as much fun yesterday as it usually is. Aside from the waterpark thrill mentioned above, it was a pretty ho-hum day as far as guy watching was concerned. In fact, Mumi actually seemed to be attracting all of the women, not the men. Teenaged girls, actually. They were all over him like bumblebees on a fresh flower. It was the strangest thing, really. I mean, I think that we are so obviously a gay couple when we go to these parks. We walk everywhere together standing just a little bit too close. We both have the same rings on our left ring fingers. We feed each other cotton candy. (Dorney Park only charges 25¢ for cotton candy!) We gaze lovingly into each others' eyes. How come these stupid teenage chicks can't put two and two together? Why do they have to make lovey-dovey-google-eyes at my man while we are sitting down trying to enjoy our over-priced amusement park dinner? Geez! (Jealous? Who me?)

Anyway, some time around 7:00 pm, just after we had squeezed in one more ride on Hydra, it started to rain. The thunder and the lightning came shortly after that. So, just about all of the rides closed down. Since I had just changed into my own white mesh shorts with no underwear shortly before the rain started, we headed out to the truck to get an umbrella. I knew that I would not look anywhere near as hot as our friend from the waterpark, so I felt it was everyone's best interest for my white mesh shorts to stay dry. We thought that we could wait out the storm while doing a little shopping. And then, after the storm passed, we could possibly ride a couple of more rides before we left. But, the rain was there to stay. We did do a little shopping and we had some delicious ice cream before we decided that we had enough fun for one day. At about 9:00 pm, after a happy little spin on the Merry Go Round, (the only ride still open in the whole park) we headed out the front gates to the truck and started the drive back home.

Of course, as is the norm on all of our trips back home from amusement parks, we managed to keep ourselves and each other entertained by thinking about, among other things, wet, white bathing suits...


(Ha! I wish, but sadly, no, this is not me!)