Bubala, Mumi & Max

Saturday, December 16, 2006

A Whole Lotta' Ass Goin' On

WARNING: Extremely cruel and insensitive rant about large posteriors directly ahead.
Proceed at your own risk.

Fat Ass!
Everywhere I go these days, I get stuck behind a big fat ass. No, I'm not referring to assholes, although, there are plenty of those around here also. What I am referring to is big, huge, fatty fatten-stuff asses. Like the one pictured above.

I can't get down an aisle in Wal-Mart without getting stuck behind a large behind. I can't get through the grocery store with out being trapped behind a big ol' butt waddling slowly down the cookie aisle, while gazing lustfully and ever so longingly at every shelf. I can't even seem to walk down the sidewalk anymore without being trapped behind a wide, heavy load. I'm really starting to get tired of it.

Just how does one's ass get that big in the first place? I would kill myself long before I let my ass get that out of control. Sure, some of you will scream, "Genetics! It's not my fauult. It's genetic!" Sorry, I ain't buying that. You see, I have been fat before myself. Yes, I had a big, flabby ass once. I got disgusted by it though and stopped eating so many Little Debbies and Cinnabons and started exercising. Now, miraculously, my ass is a whole lot smaller than it used to be. Truly amazing how that works.


Anonymous copperred said...

If you need both doors in an office building opened for you, it may be time to consider why they don't make jeans in that ass size.

Those asses are why I prefer not to leave the city, as the rest of the country is drowning in asses beyond bounds.

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Glenn said...

I know what your problem is: Walmart! Come shopping in NYC, where the aisles are too narrow to accommodate fat people (and usually skinny ones too).

3:24 PM  
Blogger Dumbek said...

I know you didn't just bad-mouth Little Debbie!

5:04 PM  
Anonymous jimbo said...

Jeezus! Did you photomanipulate that picture!?

4:29 PM  
Anonymous durban bud said...

How would even begin to rim that?

1:29 AM  

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