Dog Face
So, you might remember a while back that I talked about how I really wanted to start acknowledging my sexuality in public situations. For example, very often at work, a customer will ask me if I am married or if I have a girlfriend. Most of the time, I just immediately scream out "No!" in a 'girls are so completely gross' sort of tone, but I rarely get into the details of my private life with semi-strangers.
Well, I feel like that does a horrible disservice to myself, to homosexuality and to my boyfriend of almost 12 years. So, I am trying really hard to change that part of myself. I am trying to answer the question honestly and truthfully no matter who it might offend or astound.
Like last night, for example.
A regular customer started asking me if I was married. I said no. So, of course, her next question was whether or not I have a girlfriend. My first reply was a simple no. Then, I got a little more creative and told her that I think that girls are yucky and that there was no way that I would be tied down to one of those nasty bitches. We shared a giggle and I started to walk away.
That's when I started to get that guilty feeling again. The one that comes along every time I run back into the closet and cower there, afraid to let anyone know, with pride, just who I really am. So, I stopped in my tracks, turned around and went back to the nosey and presumptuous lady.
I keep a picture of Mumi and Max in my cell phone. It's there to remind me just how much I love and adore the two of them. Anyway, I walked back over to the lady, flipped open my cell phone and said to her, "I'm surprised that after all this time, you didn't already know this, but here is a picture of my girlfriend."
Here is the picture...
Can you guess what her response was?
Yep, that's right. She said, "Oh, what a pretty dog! How long have you had her? She's just so precious. I can see why you love her so much. She's beautiful."
I stood there for a moment, mouth open, saying nothing. Then, I sighed a really heavy sigh and turned and walked away.
Maybe someday, I will be me.
Maybe someday.
Well, I feel like that does a horrible disservice to myself, to homosexuality and to my boyfriend of almost 12 years. So, I am trying really hard to change that part of myself. I am trying to answer the question honestly and truthfully no matter who it might offend or astound.
Like last night, for example.
A regular customer started asking me if I was married. I said no. So, of course, her next question was whether or not I have a girlfriend. My first reply was a simple no. Then, I got a little more creative and told her that I think that girls are yucky and that there was no way that I would be tied down to one of those nasty bitches. We shared a giggle and I started to walk away.
That's when I started to get that guilty feeling again. The one that comes along every time I run back into the closet and cower there, afraid to let anyone know, with pride, just who I really am. So, I stopped in my tracks, turned around and went back to the nosey and presumptuous lady.
I keep a picture of Mumi and Max in my cell phone. It's there to remind me just how much I love and adore the two of them. Anyway, I walked back over to the lady, flipped open my cell phone and said to her, "I'm surprised that after all this time, you didn't already know this, but here is a picture of my girlfriend."
Here is the picture...
Can you guess what her response was?
Yep, that's right. She said, "Oh, what a pretty dog! How long have you had her? She's just so precious. I can see why you love her so much. She's beautiful."
I stood there for a moment, mouth open, saying nothing. Then, I sighed a really heavy sigh and turned and walked away.
Maybe someday, I will be me.
Maybe someday.
posted by Unknown at 4:06 PM
4 Comments:
You should have just showed her written the web address for rate a rod and how to search for "Large Marge" and let her draw her own conclusions!
Ha! No Way! Then she would have never left me alone again! She'd be wanting her some of that prime Grade A Bubala beef!
Denial is an amazing thing. "oh let me totally ignore the shirtless man clearly looking into the camera and focus on that super safe doggie!!!!"
12 years. you do realize that the average marriage in this country is 7 years. I'd tell everyone! But no pictures! if you advertize your man you might just find a buyer. love to have a foreverman in my life. My parents lasted 53 years, I wish you that plus several!
Raoul
PS copperred, how do you feel about plus size boys? I love em perceptive and witty.
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