Short Stories...

Today, I present 4 short stories for your consideration:

1. Fatal Fag-Hag Attraction

So, is anyone else suffering from the same problem that I am? I have this friend named Jamie. Jamie is a girl. Jamie has a boyfriend named Marc. Jamie is my fag hag. Jamie is madly in love with me. She told me that she is. She told my boyfriend that she is. She told my mom that she is. She truly believes that one day I might just convert on over to the dark side and slip her the baloney pony... She's really weird!

2. Truck Stuff...

It's certainly a good thing that I am a patient man.

You see, about 8 weeks ago, I was involved in a minor traffic accident. It was not my fault. Some goofy girl broadsided me. After convincing said goofy girl that the accident was her fault since she ran a stop sign and smacked into the side of my truck, (Her excuse was, "But, I thought you'd see me coming out and stop!") we exchanged info and I began the process of dealing with her insurance company to get my truck fixed. Her insurance company recommended a particular body shop, and since I don't have a usual shop, I just went with their the suggestion.

First time I took the truck in, they kept it for a week, plenty of time to fix a little dent in a fender and to replace a damaged tire rim, right? WRONG!! Well, to be truthful, they fixed the dent just fine, but apparently they had ordered the wrong rim, so they could not replace that just yet. Also, they had not replaced the graphics that run along the lower side of the truck. They said they wanted to replace the rim before they did that. Okay, no problem.

So, I take the truck back a week or two later to get the rim replaced and the graphics applied. Well, I come back to get the truck an hour later. The new rim looks great, but no graphics... Hmmmm... The guy at the shop said, "Oops! I just forgot to do it." Okay...

So, of course, I have to take it back again another time to get the graphics applied, which I did today. I go away and do some shopping for an hour only to come back to the shop to learn that they did not have all of the graphics that they needed to finish the job. Apparently, they ordered them incorrectly. Um, okay... Now I have to take the truck back again next week for the 4th time...

It is really a good thing that I am a patient man...


3. You Better Be Looking Busy!

Jesus is coming. My 20 dollar bill told me, so it must be true! I guess I better dust or something...


4. Grizzly Bubala

I have been growing a full beard for the winter to keep me warm, but it's been so warm out that I'm thinking about just shaving it all off! It's itchy and it makes my face break out... What do you think?