I've Got Seven Inches

The very first 45rpm record that I ever owned was Dark Lady by Cher. It actually came with a record player that my dad bought for me from a flea market for $5. The 45 was actually on the turntable when he bought it.

This was some time around 1975 or so. The record player was one of those big, old, clunky ones where you could stack a bunch of 45's on the spindle and only one would drop and play at a time. Of course, since I only had that one record back then, the stacking feature wasn't so useful for me. The speakers (or speaker, I should say, this baby played in mono!) was built into the body of the record player. I'm sure by today's standards, it sounded absolutely horrible, but I didn't care. It sure sounded like solid gold to me!

I played the hell out of that 45. I would sneak down into the basement and put it on when no one else was around. Then, I'd dance all around the room pretending that I was Cher. Singing along. Singing my little guts out. Spinning around and sliding across the floor, jumping here and there. It was just me and Cher. I loved pretending to be shocked every time at the end of the song when I found out that my man had cheated on me with the "fortune queen from New Orleans, brushing her cat in her black limousine." It was awesome!

I'm sure that I probably even tried this pose at least once or twice:


It should be no shock to anyone that I turned out gay.

I must have looked so absolutely, completely retarded though. Thank god they hadn't invented camcorders yet.

The first 45rpm record that I ever actually bought with my own money was The Tide Is High by Blondie. I got it for 99¢ plus tax at the local Two Guys Discount Store.

I ended up trading it to my neighbor for another 45, I forget which one. Probably The J. Geils Band or something lame like that. I should have never traded that 45 though. I loved that song then and I still love it just as much now. He really wanted the Blondie 45 though, becuase he thought that the picture of Debbie Harry on the front was so sexy. He even hung the sleeve on his bedroom wall. I wonder if he ever masturbated while looking at my old Blondie 45 sleeve. Ewwww, gross!

I showed you mine, now you show me yours.
What was you first 33-1/3rpm/45rpm/cassette tape/CD?