Penis Envy

Because I am a totally perverted exhibitionist...

Because I am desperate for attention...

Because I love it when people stare at my nekkid' nether regions...

Out of shear boredom, one night I posted a pic of my "rod" on Rate-a-Rod.com. (No, clicking on the link will not take you to said pic. I hid it well. If you want to find it, you'll really have to search.)

Anyway, I was getting some really good feedback on my tool. In fact, a lot of people were really rating it quite highly. My average score was like 8.5 or something like that. I was flattered, honored, thrilled, and titillated all at the same time.

I guess that my high scoring hunk of man-meat must have upset some ugly, tiny-dicked, bridge troll somewhere out there, because all of a sudden, when I logged in to check my rating today, it had dropped significantly. Someone out there had submitted a whole bunch of 1.0 votes against my pecker! (Talk about deflating my ego, geesh!)

Not that I think that he's Mr. Universe or anything like that, but I certainly think that my bone should rank a little higher than a 1.0 in anyone's book. He's a really nice one. So, I've been told.

So, I did what any egotistical, self absorbed, concerned cock connoisseur would do. I tried to give myself a whole bunch of 10.0 votes to even things out. Of course, it didn't work since I was trying to send all of the votes from the same computer. It only counted one of my votes! D'oh! That's one smart dick ratin' Website. Fer sure!

I guess now that only time will tell whether or not my wiener will be a winner. I will have to wait and see what the fate of my staff shall be. All that really matters though is that I still love him, no matter what. Even if he is only a 1.0 to some jealous meanie, meanie bo-beanie, he will always be my special little 7.5. (Give or take a 0.5.)