MALadjusted

This past weekend, I learned some things about myself. Or, maybe it would be more accurate to say that I was reminded of some things that I already knew about myself.

There I was, on Friday night at MAL Weekend, right smack in the middle of a hotel lobby full of hot, hairy, half-naked, homosexual men and I had no idea what to do. I have no gay social skills, you see. I don't know how to flirt. I don't know how to cruise. I don't even know how to introduce myself and say hello. Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I assure you that it is completely true.

I also learned that, as far as I can tell, I don't really have any fetishes. Well, apart from a hairy man fetish. There were men all around me dressed in leather; men dressed in rubber; men dressed in uniforms; men wearing assless chaps and leather jocks. There were wrestlers, policemen, scuba divers, army dudes, rangers, an entire hockey team and whole herds of leather as far as the eye could see. There was even a man dressed up as a dog, mingling through the crowd, barking at random and looking for someone to pat him on the head and tell him that he was a good boy.

And, then there was me... In my blue jeans, white sneakers and my red ringer tee. Just as vanilla as can be. No leather harness. No diving gear. No police patches. I didn't even have any hankies in either of my back pockets. It was just plain old me. Shy, as usual. Afraid to approach or even look at just about everyone. Afraid of what, I don't know. Just afraid.

Having said all of this, I don't want to lead you to believe that I had a completely miserable time. I didn't. I was with my man. (The hottest man there, in my opinion.) I was with a few friends. I even spotted two Jimbo's in the crowd. A fake one and the real one.



On Saturday night, I got a little more bold. I was still in my jeans, but this time I wore a tight fitting black tee and black shoes. I even wore a jockstrap, a black one, under my pants of course. It made feel very sexy. Mumi says it even made me look sexy. That was very nice of him to say so. I practiced cruising, looking and smiling at as many hot guys as I could. Some of them even looked and smiled back at me. That was as far as I went though. I didn't work up enough nerve to actually talk to anyone. That was enough for one night.

Sunday night was the underwear party at The Green Lantern. Now, anyone who has read this blog for any length of time already knows that I love being as naked as possible, so an underwear party was the perfect ending for the weekend for me. (Hmmmm... Maybe I do have a fetish??) We stripped down to our skivvies and I did my best to hide my swelling of pride as we mingled amongst the other nearly naked hotties. It was a good time. I even managed to cruise and talk to a couple of guys. It was a big step for me. I was groped. I groped. I chatted. I looked. I was looked at. It was a positive learning experience for me. For sure.

I guess I'm slowly coming out of my shell. And, you know what? It feels pretty good.