The Perfect Storm

There is a guy at work who has been in the process of separating from his wife over the holidays. He is a pretty good natured guy, so it's hard to see him have to go through this. Also, there are kids involved, so it's even more complicated.

Then, over Christmas dinner, my Mom told me that my cousin who has been married for about 15 years with two kids aged 5 and 9 years old is having relationship struggles too. The couple have not spoken directly to one another at all in over 9 months. I guess that when the kids are that age you can just communicate through them. You know...

"Sugar plum, would you tell you mother to stop charging up the credit cards? I'm not made of money you know."

"Okay Daddy."

"Mommy, Daddy says that you should stop charging the credit cards up so much?"

"Oh honey, tell your father that if he wasn't such a fat ass and didn't come home from work and sit and eat and eat and eat, cleaning out the kitchen every night, then I wouldn't have to spend $500 a week at the grocery store."

"Okay Mommy."

You get the picture.

Earlier this week, I was chatting online with a gaybor who I hadn't seen since before the holidays. He told me that his relationship ended a week before Christmas. I was actually there with them when they met for the first time at Blowoff. Even though I'm not really close to these guys, it made me sad that they had come to the point where it's no longer enjoyable to be partnered with another person.

Sometimes, when I see all of this going on around me, all of these sinking relationships, I feel like it creates these whirlpools all around me. It tests the strength of my relationship. I begin to think, okay what might I doing wrong? Is this relationship that I'm in going to float along and then one day, all of a sudden, a huge and perfect storm is going to come and the waves are going to smash into our ship and sink it? Are Bubala and I going to go sinking down to the bottom of the ocean to the underwater graveyard where all of the lost relationships go?

Now, Bubala is much better at steering the ship than I am. So, I just let him take the wheel while I just take off my clothes and lay up on the deck and get some sun and catch a buzz. And, everything seems fine with us. We've weathered some bad storms in our 11 years and 8 months together. (Yes, I'm still counting.) We've come out okay so far. We've been very lucky to have found each other and been able to grow and adapt ourselves to each other.

Just so we don't forget about the storms though, even if I am relaxing, stoned and naked on the deck while Bubala is contently steering away at the wheel, the rocky seas for others can be a good reminder of how precious our ship is.

My boss has been married for 24 years. He and his wife have 3 boys together. I have watched him struggle with his relationship and the storms that have come at him and his wife due to some of her mental and physical health issues. He is a very emotionally strong man with a great sense of humor. Last week at work, however, we learned that his wife had passed away suddenly, leaving him alone on his ship.

The whole thing reminded me that I maybe should come and steer our ship for a while so Bubala can get naked and lay on the deck and relax for a while. Of course, knowing him, he'll probably just get a boner.