Bubala, Mumi & Max

Monday, April 30, 2007

What A Wacky Weekend

I bet none of you has ever seen this before...

Bald Faced Mumi
Yep! It's a bald faced Mumi! He shaved off his beard on Saturday. Seems like everyone is doing it these days.

I bet that none of you has ever seen this before either...

Weird Old Women

Or this...

Mr. Music Man

Also on Saturday, we went to watch a bunch of senor citizens have a lot of fun and act really goofy at a senior center variety show. Mumi's parents are members at the center and his mother was largely responsible for putting the show on. It was a very fun, yet almost surreal experience. Have you ever seen a 90 year old woman sing and tap dance and "shuffle off to buffalo?" Well, I have.

On Saturday night, we went to one of our hetero-couple friends' house for too much Heavenly Ham dinner and a few games of Farkle. Farkle is a dice game for those of you not in the know. It is really a fun game. We always play it when we hang out with this particular couple. I won a a game, because I am the Farkle master!

Sunday was a day full of work for me. 15 hours of work! Ugh! One thing about working at the bingo hall though is that you will never go hungry. There is always food around. Yesterday, this group of people came in and set up six whole tables worth of food. Good stuff too. Homemade mac and cheese, chicken wings, a rice dish, a beef dish, desserts galore and a whole lot more. It was a lotta food. Of course, I was invited to partake in the grub.

As we were eating, I asked what it was that we were celebrating. Much to my astonishment, I was informed that we were celebrating for this guy named Edwin. His wife and kids had just become full citizens of the United States. Seems that Edwin had married a woman overseas six years ago and now, finally, the whole family had become U.S. citizens and they were all here in America now. Good enough reason to celebrate.


Wait a minute. Edwin?!? Which Edwin are we talking about? Edwin from the Philippines? Edwin who on more than one occasion has propositioned me for butt sex? The same Edwin who used to e-mail me regularly asking me if I wanted to go out to gay bars with him or hang out at his place or "catch a movie?" That Edwin?

Yup, it was the same one. The guy who was so intent on invading my anal regions has had a wife and two kids all along. Wow. That sly dog! Who would of thunk it?

What a wacky world we live in.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Artsy Wednesday: A Photo & A Poem

Oh, Sheet!

Stuck - an original poem by Bubala
So everything is stuck
There is no flow
The world moves
My mind stands still
The memories never fade
They want to tear me apart
You wonder how I have survived
It's today again tomorrow
I can’t help it
I’m there before you
Pain is not a sign of weakness
I cannot write these words
I do not want them to be lost
When the writing has all faded away
I will be gone again
So this is me
Several feet of ink
Making up all of this worthlessness
Trying to let you know
I am only who you think I am

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I Think It Might Be Working

The New Bubala
I have been going to the gym now just about every day for the past seven weeks. I think it might be doing me some good. I really can see a difference. I'm even starting to turn myself on. I haven't done that for myself in years.

Not as much as this man turns me on though!

Monday, April 23, 2007

Not Necessarily The Best Buy

Not Best BuyI love my new iPod so much that I made Mumi go out and buy one just like it for himself. That's one of the perks of living with an impulsive little Bubala like me. I am a master at talking people into buying things that they don't really need and may not necessarily even want. I like to treat my men special that way.

We had received some coupons in the mail for Best Buy earlier in the week. One of those coupons was supposedly good for 12% off "any single item from the following categories." One of the "following categories" listed was MP3 players & accessories. Stupid me, I thought that meant that I could use the coupon to get 12% off on the Apple 80GB iPod MP3 player. I was wrong, of course. When we got to the store, the happy little Best Buy employee flipped my coupon over and pointed to the very small fine print that read "excludes Apple products." Wow. Shocker. It seems like every time I try to use one of those stupid Best Buy coupons, it is not valid on the item that I want to use it for.

Oh well, I wasn't going to let that little setback ruin my wasteful spending. I had checked online before we left the house and noticed that the iPod that we wanted was actually on sale at Best Buy for about 5% off MSRP. 5% is not 12%, but it is something. Well, wouldn't you know it. That the sale was not valid on in-store purchases. It was only valid online. No problem, I thought. I'll just use one of these computers here in Best Buy to order the iPod for in-store pick up and then just pick it right up while I'm here. I'm so clever.

Nice try Bubala! Somehow, Best Buy has managed to rig their in-store computers so that they don't offer the same sale prices as my computer at home does. Really! That's okay. Since I only live minutes away from Best Buy store, I decided to go on home and order the iPod online and then drive then right on back over to the store and pick it up. Sounds easy enough. Right?


I ordered the iPod online and received an e-mail from Best Buy letting me know that my order had been received. I was instructed, however, not to actually go to the store to pick up my purchase until I received a second e-mail confirming that the product was definitely in stock. This all seemed kind of silly considering that I been at the store only mere moments ago, and I had seen with my own two eyes that the iPod was available there in abundant quantities. According the the first e-mail from Best Buy, I was informed that it would take no more than 45 minutes for the second confirmation e-mail to arrive. The first e-mail came at 12:28pm EST. About an hour later, I still had not received the second e-mail. Since I had a lot to do and I didn't want to wait around forever for this second e-mail, I called the store to try to speed the process along. I reached a nice receptionist who agreed to forward my call to "the guys in the back that deal with that stuff." Well, the phone rang and rang and rang and rang and rang and... well, I think you see where this is going. I hung up in disgust.

By this time, I was way over the whole "buy a new iPod from Best Buy comedy show." So, I canceled the Best Buy order and logged onto Circuit City's Website (where I had purchased my iPod) and started the whole iPod ordering process all over again. This time with much better results though. Less than 10 minutes after placing the Circuit City online order, I was in the store picking up Mumi's brand new iPod. I didn't have to wait for no stinking confirmation e-mail. All I had to do was order the iPod, get in the car, drive to the store and pick it up. Easy! And, as an extra bonus, the iPod was $5 less at Circuit City than at Best Buy. Every little bit helps!

Friday, April 20, 2007

Has Spring Finally Sprung?

Looks like it's going to be a nice weekend weather-wise. I like warm weather. It makes me feel all tingly inside... and outside. It makes me feel positively radiant. You might even go so far as to say that it makes me glow. Yep, I am glowing all right.

Anyone wanna wrestle?


Thursday, April 19, 2007


de·sen·si·tize (dē-sěn'sĭ-tīz') To make emotionally insensitive or unresponsive, as by long exposure or repeated shocks.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What's Your Favorite Fetish?

Jockstrap Fetish
Okay everyone. In case you didn't check your calendars this morning, let me remind you that today is Favorite Fetish Day.* It's the day where we all celebrate our favorite fetishes by telling the world all about our fetishes right here on this blog. Your favorite fetish doesn't have to be one that you actually participate in on a regular basis. It doesn't even have to be a real fetish. Just make up a funny fetish if you don't want to share your real one(s).

Okay, I'll start.

A Real Fetish Of Mine

I love sex outdoors. To me, nothing is hotter than getting out in the wide open spaces of nature, getting naked and getting it on. It's so bad, that I can't even go hiking anymore without getting aroused. I love to feel the warm sun and a gentle summer breeze on my naked skin. The possibility of getting caught makes it all the more exciting.

A Fake Fetish That I Just Made Up (Really!)

I have this friend who totally gets off on stealing another guy's used Chap Stick and then rubbing it all over his lips and genitals while he pleasures himself. He tells me that it is especially hot if he happens to be lucky enough to steal the medicated variety of Chap Stick with menthol or the peppermint flavored variety. At least he doesn't have to worry about getting a chapped dick, I guess.

All right. Now it's your turn. What is your favorite fetish?

*As far as I know, Favorite Fetish Day is not a legally recognized holiday. You still have to go to work today. You cannot use this day as an excuse to call your boss and say, "Sorry dude, I can't make it into work today. I'm covered in whipped cream and cherries and there are three midgets smacking me with rubber batons while I hang here naked in this leather sling smoking cigars." (If that does happen to you today though, please take pics and e-mail them to me.)

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Dryest Vaginas In All The Land

Good Stuff!I swear! The ladies in Glen Burnie must have the dryest vaginas in all of the world. The KY lube that I use is always sold out at all three Wal-Marts and both Targets in this town. Must be something in the water, I suppose.

Anyone have any other suggestions for a good "handy" lube?

(If you know what I mean.)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

What's Grosser Than Gross?

Alien BabyLike many other gyms, ours has a bunch of television sets suspended from the ceiling, all of them broadcasting different channels of high quality workout programming. Let's see, there's Oprah and Ellen. There's HGTV and CNN. Fox News, VH-1, The Food Network and even some local programming.

And then there is my favorite... Discovery Health. Lucky for me, I always get to the gym right around 3:30pm. Just at the time that Discovery Health runs their informative and highly entertaining TV show, Birth Day.

So everyday, as I am flailing about on the elliptical getting my cardio workout, I get to witness the miracle of childbirth. I have been watching mothers to be push those little alien babies out of their cooters for over a month now, and I have to say that, in my opinion, watching childbirth on TV is totally disgusting. Not only do I have to stare at all of those vaginas getting all stretched out and torn apart, sometimes I am even fortunate enough to be watching on C-section day. Oh joy! Of course, I try to look away, but it's all sort of like a train wreck, I guess. I keep finding my eyes wandering back to the images of vaginal carnage on the TV screen. I just can't help myself.

It's all so very appetizing...


Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Who's (Not) Your Daddy?

The Scarlet Letter
The other day, a customer at the bingo hall asked me if I was a daddy. Since it was an old lady who was asking me the question, I had to stop myself from blurting out the first naughty answer that came into my mind. Instead, I smiled at her and said, "No. I am not a father."

"Oh. That's a shame," she said. "I bet you'd make a great daddy."

Again, I had to stifle the urge to answer back with the first dirty thought that popped into my head as I pictured myself whacking some hot, hairy stud on the ass while yelling out, "I'm your daddy, bitch! Yeah, you better get down on your knees and show your daddy some respect."

While I fantasized, the old lady went on with her interrogation.

"But, you are married right?" she asked.

"No." I replied.

"Well, you do have a girlfriend then. Don't you?"

"Um, no. Not exactly."

"Well, Jason. What are you waiting for? I'm sure that you could make some girl very happy."

"Oh, I don't know about that. Really."

It was at this point that I excused myself from the conversation.

I am just so amazed sometimes that people do not immediately figure out that I am of the homosexual persuasion. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, I'm not a big old flaming 'mo. (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) But still, I always feel like people ought to know right away when they look at me that I am gay. I guess I feel like I'm wearing some sort of scarlet H on my chest or something like that.

I suppose that all stems from from my childhood memories of being taunted at school. Being called a faggot or a queer. One of my nicknames is Jay. You know how school kids like to make fun of you by rhyming your name with some derogatory term. Well, conveniently enough for me, Jay rhymes perfectly with gay. So, that was all of my childhood bullys' taunt of choice. I can still hear their hateful chanting in my head to this day.

"Jay is gay, Jay is gay," always in a sickening, sing-songy child's voice.

I guess that is why I think that everyone should know exactly who I am. If it was obvious enough to a bunch of second graders 29 years ago, then why is not just as obvious to everyone else today?

So, I guess that this was the origin of the scarlet H that I carry around with me today. It is only something that exists in my mind right now. Something that I have held onto from my childhood. Something that I used to be ashamed of, but now, I no longer am.

Yes, there is in fact a scarlet H on my chest. I now know that I put it there myself to remind me of exactly who I am and where I came from. Not everyone can see it right away. But, as time goes on, it becomes more prominent. It becomes more a part of me. It certainly becomes more visible as the days pass. One day, no one will be able to overlook it. One day, it will be such a big part of me, that there will no longer be questions like, "Well, you do have a girlfriend then. Don't you?"

One day.


I hope...

Friday, April 06, 2007

WARNING! May Cause Nausea, Upset Stomach

American YawnWe couldn't possibly be the only two gay men in the whole country world universe who simply cannot stand American Idol.

Could we?

Thursday, April 05, 2007


Thoughts that are swirling around my otherwise empty head today...
  1. Why is it that the only men That I ever see getting naked in the locker room at our gym always look something like this...


  2. Why can't the weather make up it's mind?

  3. Why does it seem that most of the guys on Manhunt are way more interested in the hunt than the Man? Is there some sort of catch and release policy on Manhunt that I was not aware of?

  4. Speaking of online hook ups. If you're just looking for friends, then why did you post six different close-up pics of your tiny cock? I don't want to be friends with a little dick. Hell, I usually don't even want to be friends with a big 'ol dick.

  5. Do you have any idea how long it is going to take to fill up an 80GB iPod? Maybe everyone else was right. Maybe I should have gotten the 30GB model. Maybe I am a size queen...

  6. Can men have multiple orgasms? The Internet says it's possible. Have any of you guys out there ever experienced multiple orgasms? I think I might have, but maybe I am just crazy.

  7. Why on earth would anyone want to trim their pubic/chest/arm/leg/back hair? Just say no to manscaping!

    No manscaping!

  8. Did you ever notice that someone that you may have thought of as ugly when you first met them gets less ugly the more that you hang around them. Sometimes, they might even end up being very cute to you after a while. I guess that it is possible to develop a tolerance to ugliness? I'm talking strictly in the physical sense here. Mental ugliness is always and will forever be ugly! Of course, who is to say what pretty is and what is ugly. It's all very subjective.

  9. How many licks does it take?

    How Many licks?

  10. Why doesn't my mind ever think of anything important? I could be philosophizing about serious things like love or war or the ups and downs of the human experience. Instead, I am busy wasting neurons on naked men at the gym, penises, orgasms and body hair. A mind truly is a terrible thing to waste.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

My New iPod

I love myself. So, sometimes, I like to buy myself expensive gifts to remind me just how much I love me. I bought myself one of these yesterday.

My iPod
It's the new 80GB iPod. I'm very excited about it. Circuit City has a great deal on financing. No interest until September, 2008. That's like, at least four months away. Isn't it?

I already have another MP3 player, but it sucks! It only holds about 60 songs and it locks up all of the time and skips and burns through about one AAA battery an hour. I really want to put it under the front tire of my truck and drive right over it, but Mumi won't let me. He never lets me have any fun!

Anyway, now I just have to find the time to transfer my entire CD collection (There are over 1,000 of them) over to the iPod. I have two CD's transferred already. I'm on a roll! Woo hoo!

Monday, April 02, 2007

Musing On Mucus

Snot!I have had a cold for the past couple of weeks. It has given me a lot of time to ponder the curiosities of my mucus.

For example, why is it spelled mucus even though it is secreted by the mucous membranes? Also, why is it most often called mucus when it is in your throat and lungs, yet it is usually called snot when it runs out of your nose? No one ever says "Ewww! Wipe that nasty mucus goblin off of your face!" I guess it's kind of like the differences between magma and lava or meteors and meteorites. It's all semantics, I suppose.

Another curious thing about my most recent mucus productions has been the rainbow of colors that are being forcibly discharged through my nasal passages. My mucus membranes are obviously gay, because they produce some of the most beautiful colors of snot that I have ever seen. Every time I blow my nose, there is a different pretty shade on the Kleenex for me to admire. Let's see, I've had all different hues of yellow, some greens, a red or pink here and there, white, clear and even some earth tones, beiges and browns. I am pretty convinced that the dark brown snot was a direct result of the mucus mixing with the chocolate Pop-Tart that I had just finished eating before that blowout. It only happened that one time.

Ah well, before everyone gets too overly concerned and starts sending me their professional diagnoses of my nasal discharges, don't worry. I have done the research on the Internet. I know that there is nothing too seriously wrong with me at this point. Well, as far as my runny nose is concerned, at least. I guess I'll just have to keep on suffering with the snot until my body defeats whatever it is that has invaded me. I'm feeling much better than I did last week, so I think I'm beating it.

Wish me luck!