Bubala, Mumi & Max

Friday, November 30, 2007

Dog Face

So, you might remember a while back that I talked about how I really wanted to start acknowledging my sexuality in public situations. For example, very often at work, a customer will ask me if I am married or if I have a girlfriend. Most of the time, I just immediately scream out "No!" in a 'girls are so completely gross' sort of tone, but I rarely get into the details of my private life with semi-strangers.

Well, I feel like that does a horrible disservice to myself, to homosexuality and to my boyfriend of almost 12 years. So, I am trying really hard to change that part of myself. I am trying to answer the question honestly and truthfully no matter who it might offend or astound.

Like last night, for example.

A regular customer started asking me if I was married. I said no. So, of course, her next question was whether or not I have a girlfriend. My first reply was a simple no. Then, I got a little more creative and told her that I think that girls are yucky and that there was no way that I would be tied down to one of those nasty bitches. We shared a giggle and I started to walk away.

That's when I started to get that guilty feeling again. The one that comes along every time I run back into the closet and cower there, afraid to let anyone know, with pride, just who I really am. So, I stopped in my tracks, turned around and went back to the nosey and presumptuous lady.

I keep a picture of Mumi and Max in my cell phone. It's there to remind me just how much I love and adore the two of them. Anyway, I walked back over to the lady, flipped open my cell phone and said to her, "I'm surprised that after all this time, you didn't already know this, but here is a picture of my girlfriend."

Here is the picture...
My True Loves
Can you guess what her response was?

Yep, that's right. She said, "Oh, what a pretty dog! How long have you had her? She's just so precious. I can see why you love her so much. She's beautiful."

I stood there for a moment, mouth open, saying nothing. Then, I sighed a really heavy sigh and turned and walked away.

Maybe someday, I will be me.

Maybe someday.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

My Favorite Spam

I'm seriously considering sponsoring some sort of Spam Awards Banquet some day. Some of the spam mail I get is great! Very creative and entertaining. It even makes me lol from time to time. Really!

Here are some of my recent favorites...

This first one would probably win an award for the subject line alone!

Sent: Thu Nov 22 16:51
From: 'Norberto Ross'
To: xxxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com

Subject: Aircraft Carrier Drink Liquid Swimming Pool Boy

I'm sure that MegaDik would be nominated many times for Spammy awards!
Check out these gems...

Sent: Fri Nov 23 15:41
From: 'Alyson Z. Shearer'
To: 'Lacy F. Tackett'

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From: 'Rico H. Fry'
To: 'Amado L. Riddle'

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Sent: Sun Nov 25 22:03
From: 'Bobbie W. Johns'
To: 'Donny Y. Blankenship'

Subject: Make all girls notice your manhood!

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Sent: Thu Nov 29 10:02
From: 'Maribel P. Ziegler'
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What is your favorite spam e-mail? Send your nominations in today!

Gay Bingo Hun!

The HippoMumi and I and a few friends went to gay bingo night at The Hippo on Wednesday. It was a good time. Nice to be hanging out with the gay folks of Bawl'mer hun! We didn't win anything. Well, Greg The Bowie Cub won $40, but Mumi and I didn't win a thing. No big deal though as the money raised by bingo nights goes to a few decent local gay charities.

Here are the photos to prove that we had a good time:

Hippo Water!
Hippo water!

Bingo Bear Hug!
Bingo Bear Hug!

It wouldn't be gay bingo without a drag queen!
The Queen Of Bingo

The Bowie Cub is convinced that Mumi is weird, at least a little bit.
Mumi Is A Nutjob!

Our straight friend Jamie came along. She's a girl, but that's not her fault. She was just born with a vagina.
Our friend Jamie is a girl.

Bubala is a bingo playing fool!
Bubala likes bingo!

About to win big!
Big Winner!

The Bowie Cub's favorite game was the Glory Hole Special. Here he is practicing in case he wins it!
The Bowie Cub's O-Face

One of the G.I. Mo's was there. He had a pretty good time hanging out with Lucky the Leprechaun.
G.I. Bingo Joe

Mumi likes gay bingo!
I like bingo!

Mumi trying to win some G.I. Joe buying money!
Dabbin' away!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Absolutely Not Safe Work!

Raging Mumi Productions
In Association With
Absolutely Not Safe For Work Pictures
The G.I.Mo's Adventure Team In An All New Adventure...
"Arriving At Headquarters"

Sgt. Grunt and G.I. Mo #1 and #2 all headed North up the coast to Antogfagasta where they were to meet the rest of the Adventure Team and make the move. When they got to the G.I. Mo Adventure Team Headquarters, the place looked deserted. There was no one there at all... almost.

Sgt. Grunt: All right. I guess we better split up and take a look around. You two Mo's search around up here, and I'll take a look down in the basement.

G.I. Mo's #1 and #2 searched around on the ground floor of the command center and the laboratory, but no one was around. They heard a strange combination of humming and moaning noises coming from the upstairs area, so they crept up ever so quietly to investigate. Walking into the sleeping area, the noise got even louder. And they walked in on G.I. Mo #3 with a 12" vibrating dong shoved up his ass.

G.I. Mo #3: Man! You guys scared the hell out of me. I didn't expect to see you until this evening.

G.I. Mo #1: Ah. Grunt made us haul ass up the coast. Are you the only one around?

G.I. Mo #3: Just Buzz and me. I think he's down in the basement. The others went to pick up some gear. I don't think that they'll be back for a few more days.

G.I. Mo #1: I'm Mo #1. I'm a specialist in land maneuvers. This is Mo #2. He's an airman.

G.I. Mo #2: Hey man. How's it going?

G.I. Mo's

G.I. Mo #3: I'm Mo #3. I'm an underwater sea adventurer, and things are kind of slow around here. Man, am I glad you guys showed up. The others have been gone for a few days, and I haven't sucked a cock in almost a week. That Buzz, he's so kinked out. I just don't want to mess with his ass.

G.I. Mo #1: Oh yeah? An underwater sea adventurer huh? Does that mean that you are really good at going down?

G.I. Mo #3: I'm one of the best. I bet you guys are ready to bust a nut after that long haul, huh?

G.I. Mo #2: Man, you got that right dude. My cock is just itching for some hot man mouth to feed.

G.I. Mo's

Meanwhile, Sgt. Grunt was doing some exploring himself down in the basement. He found Buzz downstairs in his play room.

G.I. Mo's

Sgt. Grunt: Buzz! You kinked out fucker. How've you been man?

Buzz: Gruntman! Yeah! Finally, someone is here who can dominate me like I was meant to be dominated.

G.I. Mo's

Sgt. Grunt: Oh, you are a kinky little bastard, and it looks like you are setting up quite the makeshift playroom. You getting any of these Mo's to give you what you really need? Any of them riding your ass hard like you know I will? Why don't you strip down and let me fuck you on that saddle?

Buzz: Only if I can wear my diver's helmet while you do me.

Sgt. Grunt: Oh, you are a twisted fuck.

Buzz: That's just the way I like it.

Sgt. Grunt: Woo Hoo! I'm gonna like working with you again. You kinked out little fucker. Woo Hoo!

G.I. Mo's

Meanwhile, the other three Mo's were recovering from their diving lesson and getting to know each other by a warm fire.

G.I. Mo's

G.I. Mo #1: One thing is for sure. We are going to have ourselves a big old adventure this time around. What do you say Mo's?

G.I. Mo #1: Yo Mo!

G.I. Mo #2: Yo Mo!

G.I. Mo #3: Yo Mo!

To Be Continued ...

Thursday, November 22, 2007

The First Thanksgiving


Make Your Trouser Python Huge & Rock Hard*

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Snakes Spotted Ahead!

There are a lot of things that I am thankful for...


And, of course, trouser pythons...

Yeah! Grab it!

I'm not afraid of that snake!

Ready to strike!

What are you thankful for?

*This was the subject line of a spam e-mail I recently received. I thought it would make a great blog title...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

All In All It's Just Another Trip To The Wal

Yesterday, Henrietta and I got up real early, so we could secretly spend the morning traveling around to lots of Wal-Marts in the Baltimore metropolitan area looking for G.I. Joe dolls. We were trying to surprise Mumi.

In case you haven't figured it out already, Mumi has recently become re-obsessed with G.I. Joe. He happened to find a couple of 12" G.I. Joe dolls at a Wal-Mart the other night by accident. Come to find out that Wal-Mart has been selling five different dolls that are the replicas of the 12" Joe's from the 1960's and 1970's. Of course, as soon as Mumi found out about this, we had to go to every Wal-Mart in Glen Burnie (there are three) to see if they had any more dolls.

Well, even after Mumi bought up the whole inventory of dolls at the Glen Burnie stores, he still wasn't satisfied. So, that was when I decided that I would have to make the trek out a little further to some Wal-Marts in the neighboring cities to see if I could find more dolls.

I sat down at the computer and opened Google Earth and plotted out my strategy, much like a G.I. Joe Adventure Teamer would do. I decided to call it, "Operation: Doll Snatch." I found seven Wal-Marts within 20 miles of home, and then I planned my route. The Wal-Mart locations formed a circle on the map, so I wrote down all of the addresses, grabbed Henrietta and headed out to the Wal-Mart closest to me.

Nothing at the first Wal-Mart...
Wal-Mart #1

Nothing at the second Wal-Mart...
Wal-Mart #2

Nothing at the third Wal-Mart...
Wal-Mart #3

The third Wal-Mart was a two story Wal-Mart. I had never seen a two story Wal-Mart before! The coolest part was that there were escalators for the carts! As you go up the escalator, your cart follows you up on a separate escalator just for carts! That was pretty cool!

Cart escalator!

I typed the address for the forth Wal-Mart into Henrietta, but she wasn't liking it. She was very insistent that the street address that I was looking for was not in Baltimore. So, I used the nearby places search feature and said, "Henrietta, take me to the nearest Wal-Mart." She obliged... Sort of... That dumb bitch took me to a Sam's Club! Oh well, no problem. I typed in the next address and headed onward.

When I got to the next location, however, there was no Wal-Mart. Only an empty store. It used to be a Wal-Mart, but apparently, it had moved to a new address that Henrietta wasn't familiar with.

At this point, as you can probably imagine, I was getting discouraged. It was two hours later. I had been to three Wal-Marts. I had no G.I. Joe dolls. I was tired and hungry. "Operation: Doll Snatch" was failing... rapidly! I pressed onward though....

Nothing at the forth Wal-Mart...
Wal-Mart #4

Nothing at the fifth Wal-Mart...
Wal-Mart #5

I was really ready to give up at this point. "Operation Doll Snatch" had been an absolute and utter flop. I hopped in the truck and started off for home. There was one more Wal-Mart on the way home though. Should I even bother stopping? I really wasn't going to, but I had to drive right past it to get home. So, I stopped.

And, this is where where it happened...
The 6th Wal-Mart

I found more G.I. Joe dolls! Yay! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!

Wal-Mart Jesus, that is...
Wal-Mart Jesus

I happily bought up a few of the dolls, got in my truck and headed for home. I was confident that I had been a good Adventure Teamer! I had won the battle. I had planned and executed my mission with all the dignity, honor and respect that you'd expect from a Real American Hero like G.I. Joe. I was victorious. The world was safe again.

Safe again, for now at least...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Famous Again...

Check us out on Wonkette!

She caught us at Blowoff, shirtless and smiling and having a gay old time.

See the photo here.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Blowoff was a heck of a lot of fun last night. A lot of great people in attendance. Our best bud Greg The Bowie Cub, Tim & Donn, Jimbo, Mike, Sean, Carl and many, many more hot guys. So many hot guys...

** Sigh! **

We got the shirts off early and started dancing the night away.

As usual, our handsome hosts did not disappoint. There was great music to be heard, awesome visuals (both on the big screens and dancing around the room!) to stimulate the eyes, a fantastic light show. The total package!

We were having so much fun that we almost stayed 'til the very end. But, then, we're old men and staying awake past 10pm is getting more and more difficult these days! So, we said our goodbyes and headed out just after 3am.

Mumi Poses
Mumi should be the model for the next Blowoff poster.

Crowd Shot
A shot of the crowd.

Awesome Visuals
The big screens were full of awesome visuals.

Another Crowd Shot
Another shot of the crowd.

Mumi likes the pretty lights!
Mumi likes the pretty lights.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Absolutely Not Safe For Work!

Raging Mumi Productions Presents...
The G.I. Mo's Adventure Team
"Keepin' Busy!"

We find Mo' #1 and Mo' #2 in a wooden shack just off the coast of Valparaiso, Chile waiting for orders on where to go to from there to pick up the top secret plans for the Homo Revolution.

Mo' #1: I'm bored! When are we going to get the word on the go ahead? We've been cooped up in this little shack for two days now. I'm going stir crazy in here. I need something to keep entertained.

Mo' #2: Well, hang in there Mo'. I'm sure The Grunt will show up here shortly. Until then, whatcha' say you come on over here and give me a hand.

G.I. Mo'

Mo' #1: Alright dude! That's why Hasbro gave me the Kung Fu grip!

Mo' #2: Yeah man. Why don't you Kung Fu grip my cock with your mouth now? Yeah! That's the way. suck dat fat cock Mo'. That's it. Take it all the way down and then stuff my balls in there too. Yeah!

Mo' #1: Gloog. Glug. Glog. Glug. Gloog. Glug. Glog.

G.I. Mo'

The Mo's were so busy keeping' busy that they had no idea that Sgt. Grunt had walked in and was watching them for a good ten minutes before he spoke up.

Sgt. Grunt: That's what I like about you Mo's. You're very dedicated. You're always keeping busy, even during the slow times.

Sgt. Grunt moved over and pulled out his already throbbing, hard cock.

G.I. Mo'

Sgt. Grunt: Yeah that's it Mo'. Suck those fuckin' cocks. Yeah, look at him lap it up.

Mo' #1: Gloog. Glug. Glog. Glug. Gloog. Glug. Glog.

Mo' #2: Yeah. He's been complaining about not having enough to do.

Sgt. Grunt: Oh Yeah? Well, how about we take his pants off and you can fuck his ass. And, if that's not enough for him to do, I'll let him suck the juice out of my balls. Would you like that Mo'?

Mo' #1: Gloog. Glug. Glog. Glug. Gloog. Glug. Glog.

So, the two Mo's stripped him and Mo' #2 started riding Mo' #1 hard.

Sgt: Grunt: Yeah! You like that dick up your ass, don't you? Yeah! That's it Mo', fuck his hairy ass hard. I can tell he likes it, because he can't get enough of mine in his mouth.

Mo' #2: Is this how you like to keep busy Mo'?

Mo' #1: Gloog. Glug. Glog. Glug. Gloog. Glug. Glog.

G.I. Mo'

Sgt. Grunt: Yeah! I'm gonna bust this nut all over your fuckin' beard Mo'.

Mo' #2: And I'm gonna give you a cum sloppy butt hole.

Like sands through the hourglass... these are the fucks of our lives...

Mo' #2: I'm gonna cum. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sgt. Grunt: Yeah! That's it Mo'. Jizz his hairy hole. I'm spunkin' his beard right now.

G.I. Mo'

Mo' #1: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sgt. Grunt: Alright you Mo's. Get cleaned up and be ready to get out of here in 15 minutes. We're headed up north to Antogfagasta. The rest of the team is up there and they are ready to make the move.

The Mo's quickly cleaned up, gathered their gear and moved on.

To Be Continued...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

An Evening With Papa Bear

Bob Mould

So, on Sunday evening, Bubala and I trekked up to Philly to the World Cafe Live for the Bob Mould concert and DVD screening. We had missed the DC show, because we had another show to go to by another band in another city. So, we made plans to catch Bob in Pennsylvania instead. Although we didn't make up our minds until the New Hope show already sold out. No big deal though. The Philly show was closer anyway, so we made plans to attend that one.

The show was divided into three parts: the Q & A part, the live set and the DVD screening. The guy who asked Bob the questions during the Q & A session had done his homework. He asked questions ranging from how Bob got involved with writing for the WWF and how he came to compose The Daily Show theme to questions like will there ever be a Hüsker Dü or Sugar reunion (that would be a NO) and how Bob feels about so many newer bands making it bigger than he has playing the kind of music that he helped to cultivate. Bob seems very humble about the bridge that he helped to build and genuinely happy for all of those bands who have successfully crossed that bridge.

At one point, the interviewer asked if Bob felt like a Papa Bear to all these younger musicians Which made quite a few of us including Bob giggle a bit. That's how I think I will look at him from now on. As the cuddly Papa Bear instead of as the guy you kind of feel slightly afraid of because he just screamed a self exorcism right before your eyes, floored his distortion pedal, turned his guitar around towards his amp to make it feedback like mad and then walked off stage and left it there humming awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. (And I was completely enthralled by every second of it, by the way.)

On to the live set. After the Q & A ended, Bob came back onstage and played a set of about 13 songs ranging from the older Hüsker classics to a few brand new songs. One of the songs is from his soon to be released album entitled "District Line" due out on 2/5/08. Another was an even newer song that Bob said he hopes to put out on another new album in 2009.

Bob MouldBob Mould

One of the things that has always inspired me about Bob's music is how prolific he has been along his musical journey. He mentioned in the Q & A session that he tries to write something every day. That just seems so healthy for your creative self. I suggest that we all learn from Papa Bear and try to apply that kind of discipline to our own creative endeavours. I know that I will, and that's why I follow Bob.

Here is the set list from the show:

Wishing Well
Hear Me Calling
Hoover Damn
See A Light Light
No Reservations
Hardly Getting Over It
Again And Again (From District Line)
I'm Sorry Baby, You Can't Stand In My Light Anymore (new for 2009)
Lonely Afternoon
I Apologize
Celebrated Summer

After the live set was over, the DVD screening started. We watched a few songs, but Bob had said that he would be out in the lobby selling DVDs and I wanted to get another copy and have him sign it because I am a pathetic fan boy* and that's what I do. We hadn't seen Bob in person since the August Blowoff, so we also wanted to say hi and show him that we still do care enough to come out and support his work even though we're old and can't stay up as late as we used to be able to. He actually seemed surprised to see us and he joked with me about wanting to buy another copy of the DVD just because I was on the cover. He signed it with an arrow pointing to my smiling mug.

Then, it was time for the obligatory photo to prove that I was actually really there standing next to Bob Mould. Just in case any one of you doesn't believe me. I think we both actually look pretty good together, all bearded up like that. I think I will call this photo "Bubala? Bubala who?"

Bubala? Bubala Who?

Then, I got a big ol' Papa Bear hug. Bob really does give great hugs, you know. Bubala got a hug too. After that, we were on our way back home. It was a work night, after all. And, we felt a little funny about seeing ourselves in the DVD on a big screen with a bunch of other people around. It almost seemed a little perverted.

Why did I have to have another copy the Circle Of friends DVD autographed by Bob? Well, when you've followed some one's musical career for half of your life and then, all of a sudden, you show up on the cover of his new DVD, it tends to mean a lot to you. After all, he could have very easily said, "Wait a minute! I recognize that crazy Bald Monkey on the cover right there. You guys in the art department better airbrush his face off of my DVD. Otherwise, he will be coming up to me later and buying extra copies of the DVD and wanting me to sign them for him." I'm glad he left it on there though. Same with the other picture on the inside cover. The one where Bubala looks like he's bored. (It was like 12 midnight on a work night when that show started!) After attending all of the shows and after growing up with Bob's music, it means a lot to me.
March 23, 1987: Lisner Auditorium, Washington, DC (Hüsker Dü)
October 21, 1987: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Hüsker Dü)
May 3, 1989: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (1st Bob Mould Band)
October 15, 1989: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (1st Bob Mould Band)
July 19, 1990: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (1st Bob Mould Band)
October 30, 1990: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (1st Bob Mould Band)
March 6, 1991: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Solo)
July 15, 1992: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Sugar)
October 17, 1993: Old 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Solo)
November 17,1994: Hammerjacks, Baltimore, MD (Sugar)
March 6, 1995: Gaston Hall, Washington, DC (Solo)
October 10, 1996: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Solo)
April 9, 1997: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Solo)
September 29, 1998: Bohager's, Baltimore, MD (Dog & Pony Band)
September 30, 1998: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Dog & Pony Band)
April 16, 2002: Trocadero, Philadelphia, PA (Carnival Of Lights & Sound)
June 23, 2003: Fort Reno Park, Washington, DC (Solo)
January 21, 2005: Ramshead Tavern, Annapolis, MD (Solo)
June 11, 2005: Gay Pride, Washington, DC (Solo)
October 7, 2005: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (New Bob Mould Band)
November 25, 2005: Ramshead Tavern, Annapolis, MD (Solo)
November 29, 2005: Birchmere Music Hall, Alexandria, VA (Solo W/ Rich Morel)
February 25, 2006: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Blowoff Live Set)
March 18,2006: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Blowoff Live Set)
April 15, 2006: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Blowoff Live Set)
May 13, 2006: 9:30 Club, Washington, DC (Blowoff Live Set)
November 11, 2007: World Cafe Live, Philadelphia, PA (Solo Set and DVD Screening)
(Thanks to Dumbek for keeping track of the Blowoff dates that I had forgotten! Dumbek Rocks!)

*Pathetic Fan Boy as opposed to Stalker Boy who would most likely show up at "Woof" with a stack of Hüsker vinyl and matching color Sharpies demanding personalized autographs. And then go wandering aimlessly around downtown Washington, DC looking for Bob he didn't show up.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Today We Are Two

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Artsy Tuesday: A Photo & A Poem

Hot Mumi!

Crickets - an original poem by Bubala
When there aren't any crickets chirping at night to keep me awake
I sometimes invent other distractions
I pretend that something terrible has happened to someone else
Or quite possibly to me
Someone has died
Someone that I had known and loved for quite some time
Or maybe someone has lied
And it has hurt me so bad that I cannot sleep
Because I lie awake with worry
Worry over a lost trust
Or a forgotten innocence
Quite possibly I have heard some words in passing
Words that have ripped my heart from its familiar place
And tossed it away
Like so many broken promises
Maybe someone has turned out just the opposite of every dream I have ever dreamt
Like I always knew
There were never any lies
Only blind truths
So suddenly I realize
There were never any crickets to keep me awake on those nights
Only distractions
I did not invent them
Only truths I chose to ignore
I should have seen you coming