Bubala, Mumi & Max

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Too Shy To Say Hi

Groovy threads...
Well, Saturday night we went down to D.C. to Blowoff. I guess technically that you could say it was our 3rd Blowoff. However, because last month we left after only about an hour since Bubala wasn’t feeling too well, maybe it’s more like 2-1/2.

Sigmund hair...We had a great time this month. We stayed until about 2:30am fueled up on just water and Coca-Cola. We saw a few friends and acquaintances, and we even saw a certain “Bald Bowie Cub” who was very friendly. It was a great surprise to see him there. We never did see this guy, but it was probably just as well since the music was too loud to carry on a decent conversation. I mean it's Tuesday and my ears are still ringing. (Not that that is completely a bad thing, and my ears are already damaged beyond repair!) It was a little too chilly in there for this monkey to take his shirt off. We weren’t really dancing and working up a sweat since I’m a stiff white suburban rock guy. The live set was awesome, but I wish it had been longer. I survived an attacked by the lady with the Sigmund And The Sea Monsters hair which she tossed right in my face only to have it get stuck in my beard. It sounded like Velcro ripping apart as I walked away and it detached.

Bubala also survived an attack by two women who wanted him to do the bump and grind with them. Yeah, a room full of hot men, and only the women want to try to pick us up. Sure, we got a few of those stares from the hot guys asking the same questions. Who are they? What are they? And, what do they hope to become? Also, this guy who lives just down the road from us was dancing right next to me all night, and I didn’t even know it was him and he wasn’t totally sure that we were us. Next time, we’ll all wear name tags, okay?

We appreciate those who did come up to us to say hi and made us feel welcome as we are still new guys to the Blowoff scene. We also understand about those who are too shy to say hi though. I mean, just ask anyone who knows us. We are two of the most unfriendly guys you’d ever want to meet. If you have a lot of fear of rejection issues, as most of us do, we’ll only make you feel worse. Yeah, we mean and unfriendly guys have it all worked out. It usually goes something like this: Unsuspecting guy comes up to say hi to us. Bubala holds out his hand like he is going to shake the other guys hand only to pull it away real fast. Then, I punch him in the nose and we both laugh uncontrollably as the unsuspecting guy tries to gather himself from the floor. Usually, his nose is bleeding and all he can see is Bubala and me high-fiving each other as we walk away laughing...
NOTE FROM BUBALA: Thankfully, the paragraph above is not completely true. Usually, the guys end up with nothing more than a black eye. Bloody noses are very uncommon, since we would not want to bloody up our nice dancing shoes. :)

Monday, February 27, 2006

Hot Monkey Sex

No comment required...We hung out at Blowoff this past Saturday night. We had a great time. Lots of hot men who looked even hotter when their shirts came off! Lots of fur.

I think that it is so great to have an event like Blowoff where we can go and hang out and just be the gay men that we are. I can hold my Mumi's hand, dance with him, touch him, give him a big 'ol wet sloppy kiss... all without the fear that we'll end up being the victims of a hate crime.

Thanks to Bob and Rich for continuing to host this hot, hairy, manly, sexy event! We are looking forward to next month! Maybe we'll even get Mumi to take his shirt off. (He has a great chest!)

Oh, by the way, if you started reading this post hoping to find information on hot monkey sex, so sorry to disappoint. It is a great picture though, isn't it?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

More Monkey Madness

Scary!As I watched the Curious George movie for the second time, I realized just how gay it really is. Bubala even thinks that he noticed a few phalluses hidden in the background imagery. Yes, the queens that make a lot of that animated kid stuff have been sending hidden messages to children for years. Lets face it though, a man in a yellow hat with a monkey for his best friend, well it’s is not quite Cher, but it’s not quite the redneck who fixes your car either. Anyway, as stated in my other recent blogs, George is God and God says, "Be curious or sit at home and wish that you were."

Anyway, on our way to the movie theater, Bubala gets a call on his cell phone from The Bitch who tells him that she has found the last two Curious George kid’s meal toys that I am missing. The Bitch actually went to Wendy’s and told the lady behind the counter that she wanted the CG with the hula hoop. The lady behind the counter says, "I’m not going to look through that big box of toys for that." The Bitch replied "Oh yes you are. You have to. It’s your job!" So, they get into it and then the manager comes over and asks "Is there a problem here?" The Bitch says that the lady behind the counter won’t give her the CG toy she wants. So, the manager gets involved and they all start looking for the CG with the hula hoop toy for me. They found it and GAVE it to The Bitch for free! Moral of the story: Maybe it pays to be a bitch. I, on the other hand, I could never stoop so low with such petty self-centeredness and unfriendly behavior. (A friend of Bette and Joan I am not!) But, I’ll be sure to thank The Bitch for her thoughtfulness and for the toys. (Even though The Bitch is just a fag hag and is after Bubala’s big cock! Sorry bitch, no gay cock for you!)

After the movie.. Or, is that after the film? Or, is that after the cinematic masterpiece? Whatever... We went grocery shopping after the movie.

George Madness

Let this be a warning to you to never go grocery shopping on a full head of Curious George. It started innocently enough with a few bong hits, then the mind kept focusing on all the yellow. Hmmmm... produce department... "BANANAS!" Bubala noticed that there were a bunch of different little Curious George stickers on all of the bananas. So, I put a few extra stickers on the bananas I was buying. Then, we went to the cereal aisle and realized that Mikey is not the only one who likes Life cereal. So does George! Then, we get to the peanut butter and jelly aisle and found that George was on the Welch’s grape jelly jars. So, of course, we the got 5 out of the 6 jars that they had. I’m only missing jar #4. By the way, you are all invited over for peanut butter and GRAPE jelly sandwiches for the next couple of months so that we can get rid of the crap and just have the jars!

So, if you blogophiles are wondering why I can only seem to find one subject to write blogs about, then you just aren’t getting it yet. There is nothing else going on in the world except for Curious George. If you non-believers still are not convinced, you might just have to wait until this fall, when the Curious George TV show starts on PBS. Then, you will finally see the light and there will be no turning back.

There are a few other forms of worthy worship out there that I do endorse. If you pick up the current issues of Bass Player, Guitar Player, or Modern Drummer magazines, there are cover stories with this fearsome force.

What A Rush!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Isn't That Curious?

Curious George
We are going to see Curious George again tonight!
Yay! He is such a naughty little monkey...

Man + Man = World Destruction

Mmmmmm... Gay MarriageSo, Maryland lawmakers are now going to try to impeach Baltimore City Circuit Court Judge Brooke Murdock over her recent ruling stating that it is a violation of the Maryland state constitution to deny same-sex couples the numerous protections provided to married couples.

What a bunch of fucktards...

My immediate reaction to this news was to fire off another letter to the editors of the local newspapers. Since none of my letters to editors ever get published, however, I decided why bother.

Instead, I present to you what is, in my opinion, an excellent op-ed letter on the topic of gay marriage. It was written by Maryland Delegate Doyle Niemann (D-Prince George’s County).

Op-Ed: Marriage And God’S Will — According To Man’s Interpretation

By Del. Doyle Niemann (D-Prince George’s County)

February 10, 2006

I oppose any constitutional amendment on marriage. I do not believe this is an appropriate topic for governmental action.

It has been suggested that we have some kind of moral or religious duty to take this step. I do not agree. I do not believe it is proper to put provisions restricting rights for any one category of people into our constitution. That is what this amendment would do.

The right of individuals in our society to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of freedom are not issues to be decided by a popularity contest, no matter how strongly people may believe they are right and others are wrong an any issue.

Beyond this, I believe it is a question of the limits that lawmakers and other leaders should respect when it comes to legislating what are fundamentally moral or religious issues.

I was raised in the Christian tradition. My study of the Bible, as well as the historical record, has convinced me that when human leaders attempt to write into civil law what they believe to be ‘‘God’s will,” they get it wrong as often as they get it right.

That certainly was the judgment of Moses as he surveyed the laws passed by the political and religious leaders he left in charge while he was up on Mount Sinai. Acting on their opinion as to what was right , these leaders adopted a host of laws governing belief and behavior — and they forced them on everyone. As we know, Moses and God were not happy.

Time after time in the stories of the Bible, the message is repeated. Human leaders who tried to impose their opinion as to proper behavior on others got it wrong. They had to be reminded that it is God who decides what is right and wrong, not man, and that those who set themselves up as ‘‘interpreters” of God’s will are taking power for themselves that is not theirs to take.

The story of Jesus’ life, death and Resurrection, in particular, is a story of the folly and evil of laws that say people have to believe and act in the ways prescribed by religious and civic leaders.

Jesus challenged the laws of His era. He understood that, in the end, they attempted to put man above God. They fostered hatred over love and human over heavenly judgment. They shifted the focus from the critical evaluation of one’s own thoughts and actions to the judgment of those of others.

So, when we contemplate the limits of democracy and the wisdom of putting some questions up to a vote, let us remember that King Herod put the question of Jesus’ crucifixion to a vote of the people — and the people voted to kill Jesus.

The historical record over the intervening 2,000 years continues the story. Over and over again, people of faith — and good intentions — acted to impose their interpretation of what is God’s will on others with disastrous consequences, from the Inquisition, to the multitude of religious wars of European history, to the Holocaust, to slavery and the annihilation of native populations in much of America.

Moses brought down from Mount Sinai Commandments from God. These were not laws in the civil sense we use that term. They were orders from God to each of us individually. God expects us to abide by His Commandments absolutely and, if we don’t, He will judge us. There is no defense, no jury, no prosecution, no defense, no delineation of rights, no law enforcement, no standards of proof.

That’s the key point. It is God and only God who will make the judgment when we go before Him. According to His rules and not ours; according to His interpretation of His will and not ours.

Most important of all, it is not for mankind to decide whether anyone has followed the Commandments or not. No one can give you a dispensation. No one else’s interpretation matters.

If all the ministers of the world tell you that hate is OK if it’s done in a holy cause, it won’t matter. Love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, judge not lest you be judged — these are not idle words. They apply to each of us, and their violation is a violation no matter in whose name they are done.

The story of Jesus and the fallen woman who had committed adultery, an act that threatens traditional marriage far more directly, immediately and irrevocably than any other action imaginable, is particularly relevant to this discussion.

The civil and religious law at the time held that adultery was a crime, as it is today. It was punishable then by death, at least for the woman. As the story tells us, the crowd was engaged in enforcing the civil and religious law when Jesus came on the scene and ordered them stop. He didn’t argue about due process or fundamental rights. He didn’t talk about fair trial or the equity of the law. No, his message was simple and clear — judgment of the woman’s actions was not for man to make but for God. Then, as now, Jesus’ message to would-be enforcers of God’s law is to go and pay attention to our own sins and our own lives. Leave the moral judgments to God.

This is all relevant to the issue of marriage. You believe in one kind of marriage. I have a different view. Whether you or I are right or wrong is an issue God will decide.

Allowing two people who want to make a commitment to each other to do so does nothing to harm me — or you — or anyone else. Your rights and privileges are not diminished. No one is forced to change his or her moral beliefs. No one is physically harmed or impaired from acting in unreasonable ways — the underlying bases for civil law.

You may disagree, and if you are right, God will judge those involved as you think He will. If I am right, He will see love for what it is. But it is for God to decide, not you or I — and certainly not a majority of people who might vote in any particular election.

The people have gathered and there are those calling for the crowd to pick up the stones to punish those they think are doing wrong. I believe it is time for us to do as Jesus would have done and say that is not the right thing to do.

Doyle L. Niemann, a Democrat from Mount Rainier, represents District 47 in the House of Delegates.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hope They Don't Revoke My Membership Card

I am not so sure that I am so good at being a homosexual.

Hank is dreamy...

I mean, I love cock and all. And, hairy men still get me rock hard. Still, I'm just not convinced that I am being the best homosexual that I can be.

Let's see... Here are some things that I don't like:
  • Broadway Musicals
  • Drag Shows
  • Dressing Up Like A Lady
  • Shaving Any Part Of My Body
  • Guys With Any Part Of Their Body Shaved
  • Barbara Streisand
  • Clubbing
  • Dressing Up In Leather (Although some guys do look good in leather...)
  • Ecstasy
  • Mariah Carey
  • Olympic Figure Skating
  • Will & Grace
  • Pierced Nipples
  • Mini Coopers
  • Judy Garland
  • Cirque du Soleil
  • The Wizard Of Oz
  • Prince Alberts (I'm really on the fence on this one. I mean, it is in a cock after all, and I do love those.)
  • Disney (Well, I do like some Disney theme parks, but those sappy cartoons, ugh!)
  • Wearing Feathers Or Wings Or Glitter On Any Part Of My Body
  • Using The Word "Fabulous"
  • Screaming Banshee Dance Music
  • Anal Sex
  • Zima

My house isn't all done up with the latest furnishings from Ikea or Restoration Hardware. I don't care about how much money you make. I drive a pick up truck. Most of my clothes come from Target. My shoes cost less than a nice dinner for four at Boston Market. I don't know how to match wallpaper with sofa coverings. I wear Fruit Of The Looms. I don't eat at any restaurant that I cannot pronounce. Sweats and a T-shirt are formal wear at my house. My dog is a mutt. I only own three pairs of shoes. I don't live in the city. Most of my socks are white. I believe that dress shoes are for weddings, funerals and job interviews only. I don't know which fork is the dessert fork. I don't know how to exfoliate.

Oh, there is just so much more. Too much to mention, in fact. I just really do not think that I am a very good homosexual. Anyone know of any 12 step programs out there for guys like me?

Dancing Queen

On the bright side, I do love Abba. I am a roller coaster nut. And, I think that Jake Gyllenhaal is totally hot. So, there is hope for me yet!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Monkey On A Mission

Curious GeorgeI have been incredibly bummed out this week. The new anti-depressants turned against me and made me even more down and agitated. I think that a lot of this was brought on by our trip to Annapolis on Monday and the apparent hopelessness and helplessness that gay people are facing while trying to get equal rights in a state/country that has obviously always been run by white, Christian, straight people. If you don’t fit into that category, just hang it up man. Maybe your great, great, great, great, great grand kids will see a small change in their lifetimes. It has me feeling so isolated, living in this country, a feeling that was aggravated even further when I passed a young woman driving her car with a huge JESUS sticker on it. I automatically screamed "Jesus sucks the juice out of my ass!" This really does not do much to help make me feel better. I am surrounded by Americans that continue to feed their children lies about the teachings of the false prophet Jesus and his micro managing father.

However, a ray of hope came today in the newspaper when I saw this snippet:

Curious George

Curious George books have been favorites of youngsters for many years. And with the recent film, the inquisitive monkey is seeing a renewed interest. Enjoy a Curious George event at the Provinces branch of Anne Arundel county public library. Children ages 3-8 can listen to stories, participate in activities and make crafts related to George and his friend the man with the yellow hat. A Curious George parade will follow.

Cool Threads!

Oh boy, oh boy! This is my big chance to convert America’s children to the only true teachings of the only real prophet of enlightenment, Curious George. I will show up in my promo movie T-shirt and ball cap and dress Bubala up like the man in the yellow hat. Right away, the kids will know we are so much cooler than their parents or the librarians. And, as we start reading the classics, like Curious George Rides A Bike and a few of the newer stories like the surreal, Curious George’s Dream, then I will slip in one of my personal favorites, Curious George Flings Poo At Jesus.

Curious George Flings Poo

In that story, the man will the yellow hat has to go out but he leaves Jesus at home to watch over George. "Now George, don’t get into trouble, or Jesus will send you to Hell."

The man leaves and George finds a plastic bag on the floor. The man with the yellow hat must have dropped his stash! George had already seen what you do with it. You put it in that huge red bong in the bedroom, light it on fire, and inhale. George was curious. He wondered what would happen if he tried it. Just then, Jesus said "George, you must not try that. It is a sin in the eyes of the Father."

George looked around, and he did not see any father, so he filled a big old bowl up with bud and fired it up. George felt funny as he floated around the room. Then, he remembered that he had a dick. George was curious. He touched his dick, and it felt good. He rubbed it and made it hard. Then, Jesus said "George, you must not touch that. It is a sin in the eyes of the Father" George looked around, and he did not see any father, so he walked over to Jesus and popped a nut off.


Relaxed and high, George went to the kitchen where we started eating all of the Oreo cookies and Doritos. Then, he ate the Butterfinger candy bars and the Goldfish crackers. (Sweet and salt, etc.) He then heard Jesus exclaim, "George you must stop, you are sinning in the eyes of the Father!" George looked over at Jesus and let out a long, extended, juicy belch and exclaimed, (and as you know, George never talks) "You know what? Fuck you Jesus! You are really bumming me out here, man. I am trying to be Curious George and do what I do best, be inquisitive and get into mischief. And, you keep putting up all these restrictions on me. So, fuck you, you fascist dictator."

And, with that, he took a large smelly dump in his hand and threw it at Jesus.

"George, you are sinning in the eyes of the Father," Jesus said.

"Good! Fuck you up the ass with a chainsaw, Jesus," George said as he took another long turd in his hand and flung it at Jesus hitting him in the mouth.

Just then, the man with the yellow hat came home. "Oh George, you are playing fling the poo at Jesus, and you hit him in the mouth. What a silly little monkey you are!"


Then, the kids and I could make pictures of George flinging poo at Jesus, and we could all take turns pretending that we are George and flinging our own poo at pictures and at statues of Jesus. Anyone who hit him in the mouth would get a $100 shopping spree at Toys R Us. Then, we would conclude by having a huge Curious George parade where we would march into every church in America and share the story of the good little monkey, Curious George and the evil Jesus who tried to stop him and got poo flung in his mouth for being such a fucking asshole and spreading his evil throughout America and the world.

Thursday, February 16, 2006


Ticketfuckers!Did I ever mention how much I hate Ticketmaster? Yeah, I know I'm not alone in this sentiment, but I really, really hate Ticketmaster!

I was trying to by tickets to see Death Cab For Cutie at Constitution Hall. The presale was this morning at 10:00 a.m. So, at 9:58 a.m., I'm on the Ticketmaster Website, clicking refresh, and waiting for the sale to start. Same thing at 10:00 a.m. Same thing at 10:01 a.m. Same thing at 10:02 a.m. Same thing at 10:03.a.m., 10:04 a.m. and 10:05 a.m.

Shitty little thing...

Finally, at 10:06am, the sale screen comes up. I put in my info, fill in the silly little fucking word verification shit and hit enter and wait for my great seats, right?


Your request is not available.

There were no tickets available that matched your request.

There are several things you can try:

  • Change the quantity of tickets you are requesting.
  • If you selected a specific seat section, try switching to "Best Available".
  • If you are unable to find tickets, be sure to check back often. As the date of the event nears, often times a limited number of tickets may be released.
  • If you entered a promotional code, check that the code is valid for the ticket price and criteria you selected.

I try and try and try again, but still, 20 minutes later, no tickets for me!

Fuck Ticketmaster!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy VD!

Hopefully, you can spend at least part of this day with the one that you love doing something special, something naughty or something special and naughty...

The history of Valentine's Day (from historychannel.com):

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus.

To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification.


The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.)

Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap".

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Converting To Curious George-ism

Curious GeorgeSo, on Friday, as soon as we could get off from work, we headed to the Muvico theaters to see the new Curious George movie. We went on opening day mostly because I am a diehard Curious George fan. But, also, we were all set to hop a plane down to Florida to Universal Studios to burn the place to the ground if had they tarnished the image of our Prophet, Lord, God and King of the universe, Curious George. This cartoon stuff is VERY serious and should taken as so.

We quickly found out that our fears were unnecessary though, as Universal has done a great job adapting our old friend to the big screen for a whole new generation of loyal worshippers to follow. The animation is very good. (Not all digital.) The modernization of George is not at all blasphemous. In fact, the minor face lift on the over-60 year old monkey just makes him even more adorable. Now, had this movie been made by that other, evil company, you know the one with the ears, (or is that horns?) the infidels would surely have been burned to nothing but ashes on the ground.

Here is the moral of the story all summed up in one sentence: (WARNING, spoiler ahead!) A man with a yellow hat likes his curious little monkey more than the girl who tries desperately to pick him up throughout the whole movie. The soundtrack by Jack Johnson is pretty good as well. It’s kind of a combination of the sounds of Dave Mathews and Nick Drake.

Why is the wisdom of the stories of Curious George so important? Because, as children, we are born with the natural ability to be inquisitive about life, and this leads us to believe that the world is filled with wonder and endless possibilities. As adults, however, having learned from our wrong choices and mistakes, we are not as willing to take the chances that may lead to a new adventure or experience. So, we feel safer because the bad things that we are afraid might happen to us don’t, but the good things that could happen to us don’t either. Through prayer and meditation and the teachings of Curious George, however, you can overcome this obstacle of adulthood and find a more open and positive and rewarding outlook on life.

George and I go way back. I’ve even adopted his fashion sense from time to time.

Who's who?

The ShrineThen, there is my personal method of worship, the shrine in my house that I sit in front of to meditate and pray and read classics like Curious George Goes To The Hospital, Rides A Bike, Gets A Medal, etc.

Still not convinced that the power of Curious George can change your life? Go and see the movie then. Or, stop by Wendy’s Restaurants and buy a kids meal and get your free Curious George toy. (Of course, I’m collecting them all.) Or, start with the holy scripture of the first Curious George book. You will convert. Don’t be fooled by any of those false prophets like Jesus or Muhammad. Only Curious George will show you the true way and the light.

And, I’ll be damned if he isn’t the cutest little religious icon ever to come along. Just look at him. What a blue collar stud! Check out the size of his tool. Not even Buddha is that cute.

Tool Time George

Saturday, February 11, 2006

My Favorite 4-Letter Word...

Billions and billions of these little guys!


10 to 15 inches is always very impressive, but when it's snow, then I really get excited about it! I just hope that it starts soon, so I can get out of work tonight! Please, please, please Hoder and/or Shirahime-Syo, don't fail me now!

Hell, I won't even be greedy, I'd be just as happy with 6 inches! Remember, it's not the size that matters. It's how much white stuff that sticks to the road that counts!

Friday, February 10, 2006

It's Only Rock And Roll

School Of Rock All StarsLast night, we went to see School Of Rock. No, not the cute and funny movie starring Jack Black. I'm talking about the actual School Of Rock All Stars Band. They are a group of amazing, incredibly talented musicians who just happen to be kids. Last night, they played a concert at The Sonar Lounge in Baltimore. Adrian Belew of King Crimson fame was their special guest. It was an awesome show!

I admit, I was a bit skeptical about this show at first. I kept thinking that it was going to be like one of my high school band recitals. You know, where it sounds like all of the kids are playing different songs all at the same time because none of them is bothering to listen to what to the others are playing. Everyone is just trying their hardest to concentrate on what they are playing so that they won't screw up and look like an idiot in front of the whole high school.

Ahhh, yes, high school days... Don't you wish you could back and relive those fantastic times. NOT! I played the triangle in my high school band. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want, but making that little triangle ding at just the right time with just the right tone and just the right feeling... Well, let's just say that it's no walk in the park, okay? That musical talent stuff is hard work!

But, I digress...

Let's get back to the School Of Rock concert. Focus... focus... Okay, so the concert starts. These kids get up on stage and start playing, and it's like a wall of hard rocking sound just splashes out over the audience. Heavy rocking guitars, pounding drums, thumping bass, swirling keyboards. These kids had it all. And they were tight. It was just so wild seeing these teenagers up there wailing away on their instruments. They played covers of Beatles songs, Bowie, Hendrix, Metallica, King Crimson, Adrian Belew and so much more. They even played Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood! How cool is that?

I was just amazed by the whole performance. I highly recommend that you go and see them. They're playing tonight at The State Theatre in Fall's Church, VA. Saturday, they'll be in Philly at World Cafe Live. Sunday, they'll be at The Knitting Factory in new York City.

Friday, February 03, 2006

I See Your True Colors Shining Through...

This message from Equality Maryland came to my e-mail inbox today:

"The House Judiciary Committee has voted down House Bill 48, an anti-gay bill proposed by Del. Don Dwyer (R-Anne Arundel County) that would write discrimination into Maryland's Constitution. The vote was UNANIMOUS! Let me explain, Don Dwyer and the supporters of the bill in committee have shown their true colors. Delegate Kathleen Dumais (D-Montgomery County) introduced an amendment to the bill that would strip far reaching language that would ban civil unions and legal relationships and instead mandate civil union relationships, the amendment passed and the bill itself was unanimously rejected.

This is not an issue about marriage this is an issue of people working to deny any protections for same-sex couples. Dwyer and his ilk rejected civil unions just as they rejected the medical decision making act. Their ultimate goal is to insure same-sex couples and their families have no legal protections."

Trash!Interesting that just a couple of days ago, Delegate Dwyer stated that he had no problem with same-sex couples being afforded the same legal rights and protections as the hetero's so long as our partnerships are not called "marriages." What a liar...

Oh yeah, is it just me, or does anyone else think that Delegate Dwyer and John Waters were separated at birth? (Yeah, I photo-shopped Dwyer's moustache, but the resemblance is still eerie, isn't it?)

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Short Stories...

Today, I present 4 short stories for your consideration:

1. Fatal Fag-Hag Attraction

The Fag And The HagSo, is anyone else suffering from the same problem that I am? I have this friend named Jamie. Jamie is a girl. Jamie has a boyfriend named Marc. Jamie is my fag hag. Jamie is madly in love with me. She told me that she is. She told my boyfriend that she is. She told my mom that she is. She truly believes that one day I might just convert on over to the dark side and slip her the baloney pony... She's really weird!

2. Truck Stuff...

It's certainly a good thing that I am a patient man.

'Ol Blue...You see, about 8 weeks ago, I was involved in a minor traffic accident. It was not my fault. Some goofy girl broadsided me. After convincing said goofy girl that the accident was her fault since she ran a stop sign and smacked into the side of my truck, (Her excuse was, "But, I thought you'd see me coming out and stop!") we exchanged info and I began the process of dealing with her insurance company to get my truck fixed. Her insurance company recommended a particular body shop, and since I don't have a usual shop, I just went with their the suggestion.

First time I took the truck in, they kept it for a week, plenty of time to fix a little dent in a fender and to replace a damaged tire rim, right? WRONG!! Well, to be truthful, they fixed the dent just fine, but apparently they had ordered the wrong rim, so they could not replace that just yet. Also, they had not replaced the graphics that run along the lower side of the truck. They said they wanted to replace the rim before they did that. Okay, no problem.

So, I take the truck back a week or two later to get the rim replaced and the graphics applied. Well, I come back to get the truck an hour later. The new rim looks great, but no graphics... Hmmmm... The guy at the shop said, "Oops! I just forgot to do it." Okay...

So, of course, I have to take it back again another time to get the graphics applied, which I did today. I go away and do some shopping for an hour only to come back to the shop to learn that they did not have all of the graphics that they needed to finish the job. Apparently, they ordered them incorrectly. Um, okay... Now I have to take the truck back again next week for the 4th time...

It is really a good thing that I am a patient man...

3. You Better Be Looking Busy!

Prophet MoneyJesus is coming. My 20 dollar bill told me, so it must be true! I guess I better dust or something...

4. Grizzly Bubala

Hairy ChinI have been growing a full beard for the winter to keep me warm, but it's been so warm out that I'm thinking about just shaving it all off! It's itchy and it makes my face break out... What do you think?