Wisdom

"All of this has happened before, and it will all happen again."  - Peter Pan

"Happiness is a warm puppy."  - Charles Schulz

"There will always be dirty laundry."  - Bubala

Tidbits

Bit #1: Jimbo!

Happy Birthday Jimbo!



Bit #2: What A Nice Crock!


Christmas was okay this year, I guess. Although I didn't get any naked pictures of any of you, I did finally get that crock pot that I have been asking for for like 5 years now. I guess I'll have to actually start cooking now.

Bit #3: Don't Be Shy!


If you have a profile on Manhunt or any of those other social meeting meating sex sites, please, please, please post a face pic in your profile. I'm not in the habit of talking to headless torsos, assholes or cocks. (In fact, when there are cocks too close to my face, I am not usually able to use my mouth for too much talking.) Even if you are butt ugly, put a face pic up there on that profile. I'll still chat with you. Now, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't post pics of your dick. I certainly like those too. Unless, of course, your dick is butt ugly, then please don't spoil the fantasy and keep it in your pants. Thank you.

Bits #4: Go Go Go!! Mr. Testicles



Even I am at a loss for words here.

Gonna Get Me Some Dick! (Wolf)

Before yesterday, I didn't even know his name. He was just that cute guy whose pic showed up every now and then as I was logging into Manhunt.

Now, I know his name.

Now, I know he does gay porn.

Now, I'm gonna get me some Dick! (Wolf)

Anyone seen any of his movies? He's only in a few. Are they any good? Any recommendations?

Christmas Funnies

Here are some funny Christmas time stories originally spotted on Yahoo! news.
We hope they will make you laugh as much as they made us laugh!

Drunk Santa Terror Parade

David Allen Rodgers, 42, was arrested Dec. 3 for driving while intoxicated — at the wheel of a float during the annual Christmas parade in Anderson, S.C. According to witnesses, Rodgers sped down Main Street in the Steppin' Out Dance Studio float with 19 people aboard, ran a red light and led police on a 3-mile chase.

Police said that when Rodgers finally stopped, they found an open container of alcohol in his truck. "I made a very bad judgment on my part," Rodgers said at a court hearing.

Stealing Jesus

In Chicago, 32 plastic baby Jesus dolls were stolen from nativity scenes set up in people's front yards. The kidnappers then lined up all the dolls along the fence outside a Chicago woman's home; she rounded them up and turned them over to her parish priest.

Similar creche crimes occurred in 35 cities from Fayateville, N.C., to Mission Viejo, Calif., according to The Catholic League, which tracks nativity vandalism.

Frosty Stabbed!

In Ohio's Hamilton County, a pair of 18-year-olds were arrested for using screwdrivers to stab an inflatable 12-foot-tall Frosty the Snowman. "Why me?" asked Frosty's owner, Matt Williquette. "And why Frosty?"

The snowman had survived two previous stabbing attacks.

Santa The Kidnapper

A motorcycle-riding Santa Claus with a stuffed Rudolph in his sidecar was arrested after allegedly grabbing an 8-year-old girl from outside a South Carolina convenience store. John Michael Barton, 55, was in his Claus outfit filling his bike with gas when the girl's family stopped by the store.

The girl's father then saw Barton speeding off with her. After a chase at speeds of up to 80 mph, Barton pulled over his motorcycle and turned over the girl, police said.

Barton was arrested later, hiding inside a bar.

Just My Luck!

Last month, I won a raffle drawing at work. The prize was a week at a beach house located on the outer banks of North Carolina. To be honest, I really didn't want the prize, but since the whole thing was for charity, I bought some tickets anyway. Now that I have won, I don't really know if I'll use the prize or not.

Any hot bloggers out there who want to hang out naked at the beach for a few days? It's a big house. Sleeps 12. And, there's a hot tub! Hmmmm, now that I think about it, that could be a lot of fun! Maybe I will go.

Last night at work, I entered another raffle drawing. Once again, I really wasn't interested in winning the prize. I just bought some tickets for the hell of it. Well, guess what? I won again. Now, I am the proud new owner of a Playstation 3. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who would be totally thrilled by winning one of the hottest Christmas gifts of the season, but not me. I don't play video games. I never got any further than Super Nintendo.


Any hot bloggers out there who want to hang out at our place naked and play video games all day and all night? I got the 60GB model. An, an extra controller.

Yule Log

I am so not ready for Christmas. So much to do, so little time... Maybe I can get Durban Bud to help me wrap!

Ah well, since I'll never finish everything on time anyway, I might as well just surf the net looking for Christmas porn, right?

Unmentionables

How come the men's underwear ads in the Sunday sale circulars these days never actually show any pictures of guys in their underwear? I can remember being absolutely titillated as a young, gay lad at the sight of those big strong men posing (for me) in their underwear in those K-Mart ads; Their huge, possibly enhanced, definitely sexy, manly bulges straining so hard against those soft, white, 100% cotton briefs. I remember studying them so intensely to see if I could trace the outline of their shafts or see the impression of their bulbous cock heads through the fabric. My parents had to wonder why I always skipped the Sunday comics and went straight for the sale circulars. They must have thought that I was an extremely value conscious child.

It was the closest thing to a naked man that I would get to see at 6 years old. Well, besides my father in the shower, that is. But, I wasn't the type of kid who got off on seeing my father naked. Gross!

Now, all you see in the ads are pictures of the packages of underwear. No more hot, half-naked men. No more tighty whities contoured snugly around big, meaty packages filled with man-sized cocks and balls. No more staring lustfully at the Sears men's clothing ads while getting a little stiffy in my pants...


** sigh **

Young gay kids today are being so cheated, and they don't even know it.

Well, at least there are still Undergear catalogs for me.

Horny Hugs?

Lately, I have had the overwhelming urge to hug people. I don't know why. I'm not usually the most affectionate guy in the whole world. For some reason, however, I have had the urge lately to touch and to hug people. And, not just hot guys either. I want to hug old ladies, the mailman, my nephews, ugly people, hot blond chicks, my mom, cute furry little dogs, the scary old man who greets me at Wal-Mart, the Salvation Army ding-a-ling bell ringer, that stupid grouchy bitch at the Motor Vehicle Administration, even my boss.

It's really starting to freak me out...

I also have been extremely horny lately. It's like I'm seventeen all over again.

Hmmmm, I wonder if my hugginess and horniness are somehow related?

A Whole Lotta' Ass Goin' On

WARNING: Extremely cruel and insensitive rant about large posteriors directly ahead.
Proceed at your own risk.


Everywhere I go these days, I get stuck behind a big fat ass. No, I'm not referring to assholes, although, there are plenty of those around here also. What I am referring to is big, huge, fatty fatten-stuff asses. Like the one pictured above.

I can't get down an aisle in Wal-Mart without getting stuck behind a large behind. I can't get through the grocery store with out being trapped behind a big ol' butt waddling slowly down the cookie aisle, while gazing lustfully and ever so longingly at every shelf. I can't even seem to walk down the sidewalk anymore without being trapped behind a wide, heavy load. I'm really starting to get tired of it.

Just how does one's ass get that big in the first place? I would kill myself long before I let my ass get that out of control. Sure, some of you will scream, "Genetics! It's not my fauult. It's genetic!" Sorry, I ain't buying that. You see, I have been fat before myself. Yes, I had a big, flabby ass once. I got disgusted by it though and stopped eating so many Little Debbies and Cinnabons and started exercising. Now, miraculously, my ass is a whole lot smaller than it used to be. Truly amazing how that works.

Valuable Lessons Learned...

Note to self:

Stop wearing sweatpants with no underwear...
Especially while browsing through the "art books" at the gay book store...

Oh well, at least the guy behind the counter must have really been enjoying the free peep show. He even gave me a discount on my purchase that day.

If anyone wants to get me that "art book" (linked above) for Christmas, I would gladly give them a free peep show too...

Oh yeah, I'm a hooker. For sure!

Such A Phony!

This year, Christmas is creeping up on us awfully quick! Do you realize that there are only two weeks left until the big day? We haven't mailed our Christmas cards yet. We haven't put up a Christmas tree yet. We haven't finished shopping yet. (I haven't even started shopping yet...) Geez!

Well, today while I was at work, I took care of the tree part. You see, we have a few artificial trees at work in our storage room from years past. Some of them are brand new, still in the boxes. Our boss has a tendency to buy supplies like he's stocking up for a nuclear winter sometimes. Anyway, I kindly asked my boss if we could "borrow" one of the fake trees to put up in our house since we did not have a tree yet. He told me sure, no problem. In fact, he told me that we could have one of the trees. So, of course, I picked out the really redneck kind with the lights already built in and the fiber optic strands running through it. It is sooooo Glen Burnie!

I don't know how I'll feel about a fake tree though. We have always had a real tree every year up until now. We both decided that this year we would get a fake tree. Personally, I just got so fed up with the tree falling over every year and the needles all over the carpet and the sticky sappy hands and clothes every time I got near the tree. I guess a fake tree will be just fine.

I just hope that I don't get fake presents...

I did find some cool ornaments online that I would love to put on our tree. I might just have to order some of these...

I BJ's

      700 screaming nasty children
+    4 hours of bingo for said kids
a very tired bingo calling Bubala!


The annual children's Christmas bingo party happened yesterday, Saturday, December 9th. I had tried my hardest to avoid working it this year. I laid low, kept out of sight and avoided any contact with the bosses for weeks before the party. You see, I hate kids. Well, hate may not be just the right word. It's more like I really, really, really despise kids! They are nasty, snot nosed, misbehaving little pieces of cow dung, for the most part.

So, it only seemed logical that, considering my splendid attitude towards the little hellions of the world, my bosses decided that I would be just the right person to be the bingo caller for the kid's party. They cornered me on Friday evening and gave me that great news!

Did I mention that I really, really, really despise my bosses?
(Just kidding... My bosses are great... most of the time!)

So, anyway, working the party was okay. Well, aside from having to yell every number into the microphone just so the little loudmouth bastards could hear me, having to pretend for four whole hours that I didn't want to throw the little dirtbags into oncoming traffic and having to act like I actually liked them and was actually interested in anything at all that the little retards had to say, that is.

*Sigh*

At least wasn't a total loss. I was paid well. And, there was some great eye candy in the hall. Wherever there are children in mass, there are bound to be some hot daddies around!

Oh yeah, here is my pick for the winner of the "classiest t-shirt at the children's bingo party" award...

I could just imagine the children in my head:

"Mommy, what's a BJ?"
"Oh Mee-maw, I love just BJ's too! Don't you?"
"Oh Daddy, I want a BJ for Chistmas!"
(Okay, okay! Maybe I said that one!)

Lots Of Fun With Picture Pages

Even though I was recently reminded that Dumbek told me once before, I don't remember ever knowing that a Dumbek is a kind of drum.


Well, after finding out that a Dumbek is indeed a drum, that got me to thinking about how other bloggers came up with their blogger identities. I decided to do a little research, just for kicks, to see what I could find out about their names.

I used Yahoo! Image Search and searched on some of my favorite bloggers' names and then chose the picture from the search results that I think best personifies each blogger.

I'm sure that you'll see from the following pictures exactly why each blogger chose their particular moniker... (Or, maybe not...)

Anger Hangover


Boblog


Tos (Chasing The Wanderlust)


Copperred


Dinger


Durban Bud


Jimbo


Morel


Sean (The Sean Show)


And, to be fair, I guess I should post my pic too.

Happy Birthday!

Hey! Isn't it somebody's Birthday today?

Happy Birthday Dumbek!
Have a great one!

All I Want For Christmas...

...is naked pictures of you!

Yep, I'm talking to all of you. Go on now. Get those digital cameras out and start snapping away and e-mail me those tasty pictures of your big 'ol, hot yule logs! I wanna see those sweet, tasty hard peppermint sticks with those sugar plums dangling down there below... Mmmmm, I'll have a creamy, white, hot Christmas this year one way or another.

Seriously though, what I would truly love for each and every one of you to do this holiday season is to mail a holiday greeting card to at least one homophobic politician in your area. You can most likely find their addresses on the Internet. I found mine. Pretty easy, huh?

Here's the catch: Make sure that it is a gay themed holiday card. Now, it doesn't have to be explicit. In fact, I think it would have much more of an impact, if you did not send an explicit card. Just send 'em a nice little G-rated, homo Christmas card to remind them that, "We are (still) here, we are (still) queer. Get used to us!"

There is a nice selection of gay holiday cards here. Or, I'm sure you can find some at your local gay book/video store.

Let me know how it goes or if you need any help locating your local homohphobic, gay-hating politicians. Have fun, and remember, keep it decent folks!

Of course, if you're like me, and you just can't resist being absolutely tatseless, then might I suggest that you send the following, ultra-tasteful holiday greeting...

Not Tonight Honey, I Have A Massive Boner

Maybe I am going senile...

Maybe I was just really tired...

Maybe without really thinking about it, I just blurted out what was really on my mind...


Last night, at work, I had a headache. It was a pretty bad headache. The kind of headache where your whole head pounds and you feel like you might just throw up. I had taken plenty of drugs to try to stop the headache, but nothing was working. I must have looked pretty bad, because a co-worker came up to me and said, "You don't look so good, Jason. What's wrong?"

Well, apparently my response to him was, "I don't feel so great. I have got a massive boner tonight." I don't remember saying this, but several witnesses agreed that it was exactly what I said. Apparently I had said it loud enough for a lot of people to hear too. So, for the rest of the evening, I got a lot of strange looks and glances at my crotch. Luckily, we wear big money aprons at the bingo hall, so even if I had had a massive boner, I could have at least hidden it a little bit.

Just for the record though, no I did not have a massive boner all last night. (Maybe for a few minutes here or there, but certainly not all night long.) Although, I guess that would not have been a totally bad thing. After all, Mystery Boy X was working last night...